Hi all,
I need some advice on a couple of practical matters and would appreciate any insights or suggestions from this group!
First, are there credit cards out there that my elderly loved one can use but that have a spending limit on it and/or prevent certain types of spending? My dad is not using common sense on the internet, sometimes overspending and sometimes using his card on scam sites. I don't really want to take his card away from him as he still uses it for every day things and I don't want him to feel like he is totally losing his independence, plus I am not ready for that argument -- but I would like to set some boundaries on the card to protect both his bank balance and his data online.
Second, I've been living with my parents full-time since 2018, and I am wondering what I need to do to protect myself in the event that they need to move into assisted living or nursing home care in the future, or need to access Medicaid.
Thank you in advance for any advice!
Being more nuanced in how you make subtle changes to his routines is what will reduce resistance and confrontation over it. For instance, when I anonymously reported the dangerous driving of my LO at the DMV website, I also ramped up scheduling rides to their errands and appointments and gave gift cards to their volunteer drivers (family, friends, neighbors) to take her out to a meal as well. She enjoyed the social aspect so much she mostly "phased out" of driving without much of fight.
And I agree with the other suggesting consulting with professionals to plan as best as possible -- it's worth the investment to talk to a financial planner, estate planner/elder law attorney and Medicaid Planner. Are you the DPoA for your parents? If not, is anyone?
In my state the caregiver exemption, that allows you to remain in the home after placement, is only applicable if parent goes into a nursing home. Memory card and assisted living do not qualify. You would be responsible for all associated housing costs. If that is allowed you may be able to remain in the home while you get it sold.
Why are you living there? Are you able to buy the house for market value? Are you able to work?
Some states will allow a family caregiver to remain in the home if they provided medically necessary care for a period of two years. A consult with an elder law attorney would be a good idea.
Here is a link to a list of the best ones out there:
https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/banking/best-prepaid-debit-cards
It sounds like dementia is at play here with your loved one. Go sit down with a Certified Elder Care attorney to get guidance and advice about Medicaid and the rest of the issues you mention. That's your best bet. Its also a good idea to familiarize yourself with the condition if you are going to be your folks' caregiver. Here is a link to an excellent resource for you:
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/an-excellent-resource-for-learning-about-alzheimers-disease-dementia-472696.htm
Good luck!
So many things to think about.