For all of you whose loved ones have been in a nursing home, was any kind of effort made to engage them once they reach a stage where they can no longer participate or make their wants and needs known? Could my mom's life be better there?
I struggle daily with my inability to provide any warmth or quality of life for my mother. I read and search for ideas to engage her, but 90% of the advice I find is aimed toward those with early to moderate memory loss and without the other profound physical disabilities she has – lack of vision, hearing loss, immobility, a profound inability to follow a conversation or story. We were never a touchy-feely kind of family so advice to include soothing touch – especially if her behaviour has me on edge and I am all stress and prickles – is just not in my nature. Music works for a while, but the majority of her day is spent sleeping or sitting or lying like a vegetable.
Another thing, once they reach my mother's level of disability everything I have read advises they are close to dying, but my mother is stable and has been essentially unchanged for years.