My neighbor has dementia and is able to care for herself. Does she qualify for nursing home? - AgingCare.com

My neighbor has dementia and is able to care for herself. Does she qualify for nursing home?

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also she picks up her yard and throws the limbs in the woods. She keeps herself clean and neat, Her kids want to put her in a nursing home her sons daughter is getting married June 6th and he has a lawyer going to doctors appointment with him to try to get her put in a nursing home, what can we do to stop her from being put in a nursing home against her will?

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Pamela61, curious who told you that your neighbor's children want to put her into a nursing home? Did your neighbor tell you that? If so, please remember she has dementia and those with dementia will tell "stories" to get attention.

I found it rather odd that an attorney would come along on doctor appointments... that's a new one.
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You don't know what you don't know. Your neighbor may appear to be functional, but she could be repeatedly calling her children, accusing them of stealing, be paranoid about her neighbors, not be paying her bills, etc. etc. etc. Appearances are not everything.

~~Angel
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Unless this lady's family asked for your opinion I would stay out of it. I know you're concerned but it's not your business. If her family is able to put her in a nursing home it would be nice for you to go and visit her occasionally.
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It would seem just great that she is so physically able, but if she has dementia, she may not be safe to be at home alone. Thinking and judgement issues are worse than physical ones; if you have your wits about you, you can ask for physical help when you need it, but if you don't, you may try to do things you are not able to do, fall for scammers on the phone or at your door, and maybe leave an iron or a stove on and start a fire and not know to call 911. Many people don't realize that's the far greater issue in someone being able to live independently. The other worry is always that with any illness, however minor, things could deteriorate quickly, and poor judgement on whether to call for help to family or to 911 could become even worse.

You could possibly talk to the kids in the context of telling them how much help you can provide, and maybe they will let you in on what is really happening. You have found out she has dementia so you know a little to start with. it does sound like she would do well enough in assisted living rather than skilled nursing, but sometimes finances preclude that as only skilled nursing and sometimes memory care is covered by most insurances.

My heart goes out to you because you care - and that is partly because a very caring, involved "nosy neighbor" once saved my Mom's life!
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You sound like a concerned neighbor, but you don't have any authority to prevent this. This is something you have a personal opinion about - you don't approve of it. But that's as far as it goes.
My mother also has dementia and lives alone, and so far, she is still able to do all the things you listed above. However, I'd prefer that she be in a place that could provide additional care. You might not see how much involvement her kids have in making sure that their mother is safe in this situation, and it may be getting to be too much for them. If they have jobs, other kids -- maybe grandkids, maybe another set of aging parents, if they live a distance away, this can become an extremely difficult situation to maintain over a long period of time.
My mother also refuses to move, and I got a year's worth of unsolicited opinions from her neighbor. She added so much stress to my life that I ended up telling her, as politely but as assertively as possible, to back off.
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She needs her own attorney. Do you know if she can afford one. Does she have a POA?

She would have to be declared incompetent. It sounds like she is doing ok, day to day. But, if she is put in a court room, she might not function well.
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