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For the caregiver spouse, you have so much going on in just caregiving & putting out fires, that you can't do it all. A good atty will know what to do to enable your bride to get Medicaid and maximize your own long term financial situation.
It's things you don't think about that can poses huge problems. Like most couples have each other as beneficiary of their life insurance. But if you should predecease her, that life insurance $ will make her ineligible for Medicaid and just who is going to deal with all this for her? Your gone, so who? The atty will come up with options as to what to do with insurance, etc. Often the policy beneficiary gets changed to a medicaid compliant special needs trust for the NH spouse - which is not a DIY.
For a son or daughter doing their widow or widower parents Medicaid application can IMO be totally done if you've been involved in thier life. It's still a butt rash but do-able. But for a CS you need a pro to guide you as to options & that means elder law atty.
You need to talk to a certified Eldercare attorney to understand this better.
You really need to talk to an Elder Law Attorney who would give you advice according to the State you live in.... each State has their own rules, regulations, and programs.
It's good you are thinking ahead and trying out different scenarios. But try to take one step at a time, I know from your previous postings you are really worried, and you have a right to be.