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I have 4 siblings that refuse to help or communicate with my mom for only God knows why and I do not want to let them know when she passes but we live in the same town and dont even want to put it in the paper. I also took care of my dad until he passed and my siblings again never visited or had anything to do with him and when he passed they all got together and had a memorial for him I guess to show the community how much they loved him but failed to say they werent there for him. This was also against his wishes. Both of my parents have stated that they only want to be cremated with no services because its when they are alive that matters and also because my other siblings were not involved in their lives for at least 10 years prior without no reason. But they did anyways and invited my mom. My dad has been gone now going on 1 year now and still not 1 visit or phone call from her children after my dad passed. 1 of my sisters is a gung ho church goer gloating abut the many thousands of dollars that she thithes to her church too. Id rather just not let them know. If she doesnt matter to them know why would she matter to them when shes gone. Feeling Frustrated with family. I am so thankful my mom doesnt really remember them so much because of the dementia but saddened that her children really wont be with her. But karma is a you know what and all I can say is God forgive them because sooner than we think we will all be older needing help and FAMILY................

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It isn't necessary to have the obit in the paper. However, for the sake of family unity I would put it in the paper, but just have it as funeral notice. No names or jobs, relatives need be mentioned. Be the bigger person and just do a short notice. I know how you feel, my relatives are just impossible.
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It is not required to put an obituary in the newspaper.
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You don't have to an obit in the newspaper, however, you may want to check into county services because I know here where I live, a death notice is put in newspapers and I think it may be something the county does.
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