Considering putting Dad into NH what do we need to know?

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What are the things that we should be looking for/into when considering a NH placement for very elderly parent with dementia and mobility issues? Has been cared for in home with 24/7 caregivers for several years. How to know that this is the best decision?

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samara,
re ; the ' coffee '
i think its pencil shavings and black - ish ink .
my NH advice is ; let the staff know you are listening closely to the patient , relay the patients concerns to the staff but dont argue with them or try to push them around . they are generally following age old protocol and you are the one in the ' learners ' seat . try to be a team player and an asset to the patient and staff .
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Hi Judy. Click on. give s hug,
and then you can write me ok? Thanks! Click on my name from here first.
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There is a quarantine incident in my book too. So many similar things. When will this travesty stop and how? Anyway, I pray my book does its part.
Reverseroles, I got a private message from you, but I could not figure out how to leave a message for you. I am new at navigating this site. I thought I was looking at your profile page. Any suggestions?
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judy I will try and download the book , thank you!
I have a friend who put her Dad in a nursing home, he has no dementia and is 95. They bragged how well he ate, etc and she dropped by and he was having a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich and said he has had it 5 nights in a row. Needless to say my friend was livid and went right to the administrator. A few weeks later she dropped by and he was having a ham and cheese sandwich for supper. They pay privately $10,000 a month. There is so much more that goes on there, and they are nuns that run it, awful. My friend and husband are in their 70s and cant do it at home. I told them to get an apartment for him with a chef and it would be cheaper! He was also quarantened in his room alone 2 weeks due to the flu !
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My father was private pay in two nursing homes in two different states. Both of them neglected and abused him. The first one turned him into a zombie with three antipsychotic drugs given simultaneously. When he was in a NH near me, I visited him at least once a day every day. (I wanted him in my home, but my husband would not agree.) I was so upset with what happened in his nursing homes that after my father died, I wrote a book about this journey with him, Before the Door Closes: A Daughter's Journey with Her Alcoholic Father. Please become informed before you make this life-threatening decision for your loved one.
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Has father been spending time at senior center? If so, you can ask the family and staff members about different homes. Also, talk to local pastors and priests. They frequently know the better places. Visit and tour the place. Do the residents look well cared for and happy. Ask if you can pay to share in today's meal. That will tell you about food. Ask about staff credentials. Are most licensed profs, or are most volunteers? Talk to local Red Cross, So. Baptist relief, parish relief, etc. they can frequently tell you a lot about the homes I the area.
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They told us Dad had a big breakfast today.. he has never been picky! and when I look at the 4 course menu I freaking want to eat there!! Mom did not like the rehab food because she was on a special diet... but Dad eats everything!
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Regarding "home food tastes better than anywhere else": My mother has said all her life "I don't care what the food is. As long as I didn't have to cook it and cleanup after it, I like it!" And indeed she really likes her NH food. When I visited my aunt in her care center and asked her how she liked it the first words out of her mouth were, "The food here is very good." Another aunt in a care center also loved her meals.

Just pointing out that not all old folks hate the institutional food.
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I keep reminding my Mom it's MC, Not NH for dad!! Somehow that makes it sound better.... She was fixated on the old school thoughts of a NH, and dad's place is nothing like that. We know it;s not home, but it may be better. Yes we wish it was less expensive, but he is getting better (less stressed) care. He is only on his first week, and stuck in the AL part with a companion as the MC is closed for a GI bug, but I think once he is in the MC it will be even better! The staff is great and they have called once a day (even though we visited) to let us know how he is doing, and he looked great when we visited today. So visit, get a feel for a place.. and make the leap if you need to. You can always change your mind.. that is why we a doing a month of "respite care" to get used to the idea. Also, if we looking into full time care instead of the few hours a week we were using.. HC was actually going to cost more
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No problem, wolflover, it is a Big Decision to consider "putting" a parent in NH, and I can only imagine the OP has run out of gas with the dementia having gotten worse to the point they can't manage (and mobility issues too). My sincerest wish is for everyone to live at home until their death, if at all possible. Perhaps the best is if people can actually afford to live in nice AL long enough (10+ yrs) to make it feel like home. But most facilities are incredibly well xpensive! So nobody lives in facility for very long...and it will therefore always seem like strangers in a strange place full of strangers, and strange food, even strange coffee! --that has to be the worst :( so yes God Bless the caregivers, we'll all need a caregiver someday if we live long enough.
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