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Based on your need to work and her physical and mental condition, would her doctor be willing to back up putting her in a nursing home? I don't have an answer to your ability to put her in a NH against her will. Obviously, it can be done under certain circumstances. Has she been to a NH....was that were the nurse, PT and bather were or was that in your home?
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Cattails, My reply to you was above, lol , i forgot to put your name at beginning. duh lol
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Yes I still work for another 2 years probably, been married 30 years, we both own everything together except one vehicle and it is in my name, is handicap accessible van i bought to get her to dr, She does give her son money for mortgage and food, he has been out of work a couple years, her social sec money. she is alone yes except homemaker lady, has the emergency call button but takes about 10 minutes for them to get there. She does have a hospital bed, but has trouble using the controls. sometimes i think she fold herself up in it. She does raise the head sometimes but slides right down to laying flat again. Dr was aware of her confusion way before she was bedridden, but is getting substantially worse now. POA would depend on the day and if she knew what exactly I was talking about to her. She never has understood having seperate checking accounts but had to stop the handouts to her son from my bill money. If she is dehydrated is because she pees so much, omg, such a mess. I even thought about a permanent catheter but idk if she go for that either. I do know she will fight nursing home till her last breath, but , i have to have a life besides caring for her too and the way it is, i work and take care of her, that is the extent of my life. Thanks for your reply.
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Jackie: I have a couple of questions. How long have you and your wife been married and does she have assets of her own or all assets in both of your names? When her son comes by to get money, does she give it to him? Do you work and is she alone during the days with just the homemaker coming in 2 hours a day?

The circumstances you both face sound tragic and daunting. One suggestion would be that the doctor order a hospital bed for her. Medicare will pay for that and the bed can be elevated to a sitting position. The doctor should also require the best mattress to help eliminate pressure sores.

With the care your wife gets, it's certainly possible that she has a urinary track infection due to hygiene issues. She may also be dehydrated. Her confusion could be a result of that and not dementia. Does her doctor truly understand the conditions she lives under?

I can understand that your are exhausted and depressed, but you need some professional guidance in how to get your wife better care. If you haven't done so, you need to have a serious heart to heart talk with her doctor and you should talk to your Area on Aging office to see what can be done to bring in additional help. Depending on your income, sometimes this can be done for pennies on the dollar.
With all her medical issues, would she qualify for Hospice care? Yes, Medicaid does pay for nursing home placement.

Another question is would your wife agree to give you POA and is she of sound mind to do so.
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