Would you put an elderly person into bed after a full meal?

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Or would you be wrong for speaking your mind, whilst they are in hospital? my mum has been in hospital for 10 weeks awaiting a care home, she was put into a boarding bed hospital 3 weeks ago, I have come across many faults with this place, I have notices up stating home was only..i have been there whilst they have brought laundry back which belongs to my mum, clothes which have shrunk, I have had words about this to the staff nurses who blame the night shift bank nurses, I came in last week to find my mum in trousers a 31"leg, my mother is a 25" these trousers did not belong to her. she is a falls risk patients & yet this went un-noticed, I had words once again and changed her into her own clothes. then her teeth were lost, she has dementia & has no idea where they are. she went off her meals due to this, I was told a dentist had been informed but as yet she goes without. we were shocked whilst visiting at night time, the patients have there meal 5=6 pm. they are taken back to the ward and changed immediately for bed.they are asleep for 6-15pm. I have seen no visitors at night apart from us that go to see my mum, although I have seen a few during the day visiting there relatives, but its not everyone who gets a visitor ( my heart goes out to them) the ward lights go off & the night lamps are on before visiting time at 6-30pm.my mum refuses to put on her nightie after tea-time, therefore we change her before we leave, we have been told not to turn on her radio whilst the other patients are asleep, told not to play cards with her at night, I lost it and asked if it was ok to talk to her, the nurse just glared at me. on 2 occasions my mum has packed all her clothes, carried bags and a cd player up to the end of the corridor it was her crying that alerted the night staff as a code number has to be used to open the door, again I had words with them asking how it was possible to get out of a hospital bed when the side rails are up? I was told my mum does not get the sides put up at night despite having been in hospital 9 times due to falling out the bed. I was livid & told them if she happens to fall again whilst there I will go to the care commission, I feel it is like talking to a brick wall, my sister has been angry with them also my nephew..but to no avail. I think it is dangerous for the patients to be put to bed on a full stomach, I strongly disagree with this, I will be going to 2 care homes on Monday, hopefully 1 will finally be suitable for my mum. however I do feel for the patients who will be there going through this bed time stupidity, I feel if I can help them in anyway I will certainly do whatever it takes, they are human beings despite having dementia they are able to hold a conversation for a short time, they are being treated like children, supper then bed. not even a mum would put her kid to bed after a 2 course meal at tea-time, this has me feeling so angry and of course worried about the safety of these patients, there is 1 doctor who comes every Wednesday to see the patients I presume? no other doctor is in this boarding bed hospital. would you agree they are correct in putting patients to bed at 6pm.

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A nurse told me you should at least sit upright for 30 minutes after a meal to help digestion.
Gravity helps the digestion process and prevents symptoms like heartburn and other issues.
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I agree, too, and don't forget that some people here will be caring for much bigger and more able-bodied spouses - it is literally, physically impossible for them to provide adequate care, and that's not even considering what happens if a person with dementia becomes violent or agitated. Please do not kick in the teeth people who have already had to make heart-breaking decisions.
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I agree. There are some great nursing homes out there. Please don't say thumbs down to all nursing homes. Some people such as myself had no choice but to put my mom in one so hearing comments like that hurts.

As for how we speak to the staff at nursing homes. I think if they are soo overly sensitive that they will mistreat your loved one if they feel like you have offended them then maybe they should find a different line of work.
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Willows, not everyone is cut out to be a caregiver. 30% of caregivers die before their patient does. Some have heart attacks. Some crash and burn mentally. It really does come down to your survival or theirs. Far better you live longer, so you can manage their care.
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Willows...that is ridiculous.
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A person with dementia belongs in his/her own home, not in a nursing home. Even the "best" nursing homes are poorly staffed these days. A nursing home should be the very last resort, which means the caregiver has died and there is nobody on deck to take on the care of the individual. Thumbs down on all nursing homes! :(
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When I was with my cousin, who has dementia, in the hospital, one of the assistants who helped with her care, told me to always wait for at least 30 minutes after she ate to lay her down. She should remain upright for at least 30 minutes. I have since read that is true too.

All places have issues, but I know what it's like to wonder about the care your loved one is getting. I recently relocated my cousin to a new place and it has made a huge difference. The thought the staff puts into the care is so much better. The people have a good vibe about them and I can see how they relate to the residents. It's just very different. I only wish I had gone to this place sooner. Of course, hindsight is twenty twenty, but I did the best I could, based on my knowledge at that time. The new place is not as fancy to the eye, but the true things that matter are much more important.

It's so difficult to know if you are picking the right place. A place can have glowing reviews from others, but not be the right fit for your loved one. I've learned that.
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I just have one comment in regard to bed rails. DO NOT PUT UP BED RAILS! People often try to climb over the bed rails and get caught in the rails and die. A very expert nurse practitioner who specialized in seeing people with dementia provided this warning and when a hospice program provided a hospital bed for my mother, I never ever put up the bed rails.
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Sounds like a warehouse to me. get them out of the way so work is easier by hook or by crook. Store the living bodies in the bed as much as possible. Forget that these bodies are human beings with feelings.
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1. Get your mother placed as soon as humanly possible.
2. Document everything you have observed at this godawful battery farm and copy it to whoever commissions these services and to your local authorities. It sounds abysmal. It also sounds like the 'value' option - cheap at half price. The people who send patients their way for care must not be allowed to pretend they didn't realise how badly it's run. It's a real blast from the past.
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