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My husband has Dementia and he pulled a pair of nice shoes out of the closet and now wants to wear them almost all the time. They are really nice, he always took pride in having shiny shoes. He says they have a thin sole not like work boots that he has snagged his foot and fallen. If he has asked me 1 time he has asked me 50 if they look "tacky". He's very prideful in his appearance. I have told him 50 times they are very nice. Anyone ?

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Wow! How lucky you are; most demented people are pretty boring! Enjoy....
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Yes, my elderly mother would wear out-of-style, threadbare garments when I had bought her brand new garments. OMG, my daughter's FIL wouldn't even get into clothes (just wore his ripped up boxers), weighed 450# and wanted hugs dressed like that!
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So let him
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When my mom moved to AL she lived tooling around in her wheelchair in her puffy pink socks
Whatever floats your boat I say
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Kaylani, such good tips. Thanks for sharing. You are right a good laugh is worth its weight in gold, its when we stop laughing that we have trouble. Life is to short to be serious all the time.
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My mother with Alzheimers moved into an assisted living facility in February. My sister noticed that Mom was wearing the same few things every day, even though she has a closet full of her clothes. She was also wearing the same socks and underwear everyday ( for weeks at a time). So one day I talked to her about it, and asked why she didn't wear some of her other clothes? She said "these are all I have". I asked her "What about the clothes in your closet?" and she replied, "Those aren't my clothes." When I asked whose clothes they were, she said, "Those clothes belong to that girl that used to live hear before me - she's coming back to get them." So we talked about how that girl took everything with her and was not coming back; then we labeled each drawer, and each part of her closet with cards that read "Mary's shoes, Mary's pajamas, Mary's underwear, Mary's clothes, etc." We drew on little pictures of shoes, underpants, etc too. We had a good time laughing while we did it together, but she now wears a variety of cleaner clothes more often, including underwear! (Although now she occasionally puts her dirty underwear in her purse when she's packing to "go home"). Sometimes people with dementia have a funny logic all their own, and it's a real eye-opener when you finally get to the bottom of it. We just try to count our blessings that she can still dress herself and laugh with us, and always try to keep smiling.
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Oh lord, Lucy! You are an angel for keeping a straight face and reassuring him he looks fetching! Thanks for starting my day off with a smile b
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Hey Sunnygirl1-my mom likes her sneakers -"sneaks". I got her an identical pair and it's worked so far.
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My dad recently put on my mom's clothes; he said they 'fit' :0 let them be and redirect later to their regular clothes - does not hurt anyone
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Alexander that is just to funny. Sunnygirl, identical pair great idea it worked for me once good luck!
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My cousin is obsessed with her tennis shoes. She really loves them. I have bought her new shoes, but she doesn't like them. She wants her regular shoes. So, that's fine with me. I tell the staff to just put those shoes on her everyday if that is what she likes. She doesn't walk, but they do get wear due to her propelling herself in the wheelchair with her feet. Getting her used to a new pair is going to be a struggle. I've decided to get another pair just like the ones she has and see if she will notice.
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Funny observation ~ After the above conversations, I have been careful (I thought) to delete so hubby wouldn't stumble across them. Lo and behold, when he got dressed a while ago, he came out with his western shirt, jeans, and cowboy boots! Just laughed and told him how handsome he looked!
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Oh the questions. If every caregiver had a nickle for answering the same question over and over they'd all be rich. If come with the territory. Its great that he cares about how he looks. Go with the flow, someday it will be another question. Wishing you both the best my dear!
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Just be happy he wants to wear clothes. Once night in the middle of dinner? My MIL took off her blouse right there at the table. Fortunately, we did not have guests visiting. My husband asked her, "Mother aren't you cold?". She said, "Yes". So I helped her put her blouse back on and we finished our meal together.
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Since this has happened at my house, keep the thinned-soled shoes, and as long as he is still dressing himself, that is a good thing! Do not let him wear the thick-soled shoes as the most common fracture in the foot is the 5th metatarsal (little toe). The fracture will occur first, then someone will fall. My husband's toe is recovering from this fracture now, and it is very painful. A shoe-cast is given as a hard cast is really not used (depending on the severity of the fracture), and it takes about 8 - 10 weeks for recovery. So keep telling your husband his shoes look great, and don't mind that he asks repeatedly (you could put notes around if he still reads saying "Your shoes look terrific!").
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What's wrong with wearing nice shoes? His argument sounds logical to me.
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Alexander4 my husband also has a pair of Lizard skin boots he has had for 50 years and they look brand new. He has always been prideful in his appearance. Hope it continues....
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Unfortunately Tarajane this is par for the course with dementia.
My BIL who I care for since his wife died had kept a couple of her dresses. Now my BIL is a rough tough Northern England male, a firm believer in the idea of the best place for a woman is kitchen & bed. I should have said he was like this, because for the last week he's insisted on wearing one of my late sisters dresses. A pretty little tea dress in dove grey with pale pink rosebuds, fluttery cap sleeves and a handkerchief hem. He has silver hair tied back in a ponytail and a greying beard, he wears this dress with thick woolen socks and steel toe capped boots! Over and over he'll try look over shoulder while asking me "does my bum look big in this?" Bless him, he's barely got a bun he's so thin now.
So I just keep saying, no you look really good. It's hard to see him like this, hard to see my sister's favourite dress this way - but I wear my late husbands sweatshirt so whom am I to speak.
I guess what I'm really saying is unless he or someone else is in danger go with the flow. Try to validate him "tarty? No not a bit, just as smart and goodlooking as the day I fell in love with you" or something similar, then try a distraction, if possible an activity far removed from feet and shoes. Good luck :~)
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Choose your battles! My husband obsesses about being a cowboy. (60 years ago he helped a friend on a ranch for a few days.) So hubby gets out his cowboy boots, cleans them up with neatsfoot oil, and there they sit. When he does try to put them on, it is too much of a struggle, but he is happy knowing that he did something good.
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