At wit's end: my partner is the only child (60 yrs old) of a 95 yr old woman with significant psych problems: has been hospitalized for breakdowns, once laid down behind the wheels of our car because we wouldn't stay for tea. Now she is dying of CHF and severe aortic stenosis, lives an hour away. We hired excellent caregivers so we could continue to work: one caregiver was taken away in an ambulance. The second was fired. The third is wonderful, but she totally has my MIL's "number:" my MIL whimpers and cries that she's dying so we rush there, and when we leave, she acts totally normal. We thought for sure she was dying last night, and right after we left her house, she popped up off the couch and went UPSTAIRS to bed. MIL is apparently chasing her caregiver around the house to keep her from talking to my spouse; she tried to grab the wheel of the car in heavy traffic and began hitting the caregiver when she wouldn't comply.
My partner is being played like a violin; she's exhausted. MIL lies to her constantly, and partner takes the bait. It's killing her, and killing our marriage. MIL is seriously disturbed and will be a danger to everyone around her, including herself. I'm at a loss about what to do. Help.
this then u have to take responsiblitiy for it instead of writing about it.
MY 89 YEAR OLD HUSBAND IS SENILE , CAN'T REMEMBER ANY NEW INFORMATION AND CAN REALLY GET GRUMPY ABOUT IT BUT IF HE WAS VIOLENT IN ANYWAY, HE WOULD FIND HIMSELF IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO LET SOMEONE MAKE YOUR LIFE MIISSERABLE.
If she's been violent with someone, she needs to be placed in a setting where her behaviors can be dealt with (like a dementia unit if you can find one that will accept her). She's dangerous to live with. What if she picks up a knife the next time she lashes out at her caregivers??
Psychopaths don't suffer from delusions, though, and many are highly adept at 'pretending' to think in the same way as normal people.
New research has uncovered that manipulative, callous and sometimes violent behaviour could actually be hard-wired into psychopaths from birth. Maybe your husband needs to take a step back for a bit because she is truly manipulating you both. Maybe if you both didn't come running everytime she decides to do this, she just may get it. Have you considered putting her into a facility where they can better handle these outbursts with her. Sounds like one on one is just too much. Her getting all wound up like this can't be good for her CHF either. I hope it helps good luck.