I have posted a few times about my MIL. I have a situation and was looking on ways to handle. Her MC is fairly new, she is 1 of 3 residents since it just opened 5 months ago. She adjusted very well and is actually thriving up until the 3rd resident moved in. This resident spends her entire day up and down the hall attempting to “escape” setting off the alarms all day, yells all day how she is being murdered and telling the other 2 residents that they and their families are next. The resident has been there for 2 months and they just addressed the situation with an anti anxiety med(not working). The resident will yell vulgar language at anyone there include us. I sympathize and empathize with this resident and her family, you see this is exactly what we were afraid of MIL acting when we moved her there. Is this part of dementia or psychiatric? I do need to address the affect it is having on MIL, she keeps saying we need to move her because she gets stressed out and agitated with the other resident. We do not want to move her, the MC director is wonderful and she is thriving. Any input on how to approach or don’t approach?
Memory Care is not the right kind of care facility for what sounds to me like a paranoid psychotic who also has dementia. I'm not a psychiatrist but I do know that a memory care facility does not have the kind of staff or security that's needed to keep all the residents and staff safe from a patient like this. People often think an elder with dementia is only a risk to themselves. That's not true.
I know of an incident in a nursing home and MC facility where an elderly resident strangles his elderly girlfriend (also a resident) to death because he thought she was "cheating" on him with someone else.
This happened at an Autumn Lake brand care facility in Connecticut. I believe in the town of Waterbury. Find it online and show it to the Director of the memory care facility your MIL is in.
Then ask him/her if the facility would be prepared to pay out millions of dollars in damages when the violent, deranged, demented lunatic who does not belong there among the other residents, actually hurts someone. Inquire to the Director if a brand-new facility with only a handful of residents carries the amount of liability insurance and retains the number of lawyers a multi-million dollar nursing home chain does.
This is the only way you're going to get any action from the administration of your MIL's facility. They will continue to skirt around your concerns and will do nothing about the resident.
Show them the Autumn Lake story and ask the questions I put here, and I'd wager there will be an ambulance showing up to take that resident away to a hospital before the day is done.
So there is a place for her to get what she needs...though it is not your problem to solve. Being clear about impact of your mom and your serious consideration of moving her so that she does not become angry/exhausted by the situation is the point to make clear to MC director, facility wellness nurse, facility administrator, etc. And if you and your family can visit often and take mom out of memory care to another part of facility to visit, or out of facility for a couple of hours, that will give your mom a break from the situation and help her to cope until there is some resolution.
IMO, the woman needs a psychic facility were they can try her on different meds till they find the right cocktail. MC is not where she should be. Not enough staff to deal with this. I would wonder who is prescribing the med, a GP or a Neurologist? It should be a Neurologist.
You need to approach the Director calmly. Explain that Mom wants to move because this resident stresses her out and she gets agitated. Then say you really don't want to do this because Mom did like it there and you felt she thrived. Can they not do skmething for this woman like send her out for a psychic eval. Its not good for this resident to have this much anxiety either.