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Her children who are in their 40-50's and grandchildren have all mentioned to her about bathing and her order. Mother is quick to inform our father who has ALS he needs a bath. But mention it to her an we get the "look".
Has any ever dealt with this scenario?

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Wanted to add another thing. My mom and grandmother hated water hitting them in the face. I always used hose that they could hold while I washed then i held while they washed.
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I agree with Blannie, great advice. Having all the right equipment makes it much easier and makes the person feel much safer. Maybe start small? Use no rinse shampoo and do hair, give her a pedicure, wash and cream legs while you are doing the pedicure. Buy flushable wipes to use on "no shower" days. Clean clothes everyday. Tell her that you want to help because you know how hard showers are and even more so with copd. You wash back, legs, feet. Give her a soapy rag to do what she can reach herself. Be quick even if you miss parts. Next time you can do better. I always use a portable heater. Have large towels and bathrobe ready. Wrap her up nice and warm and let her rest with a cup of tea before getting dressed. I found that rather then talking, just get everything ready and strongly insist. Do shower at times when mom had done in the past.
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I had the same problem with my dad. I even discussed it with him, asking him if there was a reason he wasn't bathing. The conversation went nowhere. Eventually I hired a bath aide who came to the house and gave him a shower. She was in and out in 30 minutes and my dad felt much better after. Soon he grew tired of having the bath aide and started bathing on his own again.

Elderly people don't need to shower everyday. Twice a week is good enough.
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Have you tried to talk to her privately about why she's not bathing? Maybe she doesn't feel safe (and needs help getting in and out) of the shower/tub. Maybe she can't breathe because of the effort it takes to shower. Have an honest conversation with her about it. Get some help if she needs it. Get her a shower bench/chair to sit on. Make sure the bathroom is warm enough. Get grab bars for safety if you don't have them already. Take away all of her excuses. I help my mom shower every week and when we're done (with me doing most of the work), she's huffing and puffing like she's run a marathon. So it can really take it out of folks who aren't in good physical shape. Try to find out why your mom is resisting.
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