How can I protect myself when my mom is telling the neighbor lady I abuse her and none of it is true?

When she threatens you will the police, hand her the phone and offer to look up the non-emergency number for her. Show her that you aren't going to be manipulated by idle and ridiculous threats.

But, really, Poor Mom. She is obviously not in good mental health. Very sad ... but no reason for you to roll over and play dead.

And, this is the FOURTH time you are trying this? Hmmm ... maybe mom isn't the only one here with some problems with good judgment. What made you think it would be better this time?

If I only had videos of scenario's of this type!!! I was accused of the most horrible things by my Mother with Dementia. It is important to remember who is the mentally ill and to figure out why? If you are not guilty of what she is accusing you of notify the police and give them a heads up, on what's happening.

Yep, been there done that. It works. If you do it yourself, be sure to have it notarized by non family or friends. Go to the post office and spend that extra few dollars to send it registered mail. It is legal. Make sure you make a copy AFTER it's notarized, and leave return address off of it. Good luck!

There isn't anything you can do if your mother has a sympathetic audience. My life has been ruined by my nother and everyone hates me. But in my heart I know that I have done what needs to be done for her safety and health. Cargivers are always hated by the individual receiving the care if they have Alzheimer's. That is the cold hard facts. I have been a caregiver for 29 years and am 61 years old. Everyone I have cared for in my family have been gracious and very cooperative. Alzheimer's patience most always get wicked and vindictive as their disease advances.

One thing I want to add is If you are being accused of a crime then you are not safe with her. Why did you consider letting her move in with her 4 times? It sounds like she needs to be in a nursing home or assisted living.

BJ did you get the eviction notice or will you? And why did you let her back in for the 4th time. It won't change. Where was she before?

I understand you. My mom has screamed "police" when we went places. I just said "she has Alzheimer's" and people have always said they understand. One day mom got out of the house and was trying to flag cars down to take her home to PA. She hasn't lived there since she was a child. When I ran out there, I thanked everyone who had stopped and then I said "She has Alzheimer's" One person said they should call the police. I calmly said "Then you are welcomed to go to the hospital with her and stay with her." They put their phone away and left. I would of thought that since she thought PA was right down the street and we live in Georgia, that should of been a real giveaway. Anyway, she doesn't do things like that anymore and is calm and watches TV or goes everywhere we do.

Every case is different, but my mother has also threatened to call the police, a lawyer, etc. She's lied on me to our neighbors about many things, including telling them that I'm a drug addict. Naturally you feel defensive, that they believe your mother. After all, why wouldn't they believe an old woman and why would a mother lie on her own daughter. I've done as another responder did an handed her the phone then went to my own space. After a while, I found my mother didn't even remember her threats and was worried that I'd left her. As for neighbors, I've invite them into the house on on the premise that she's lonely and could use a familiar face. Those who have come are pleased to see her and the house clean, and that she is well nourished and healthy. And they'll also see her mental state, too (repeating herself, not recognizing them, etc.) Certainly they won't see signs of physical abuse because they never existed. They KNOW she is so much better off than before I took over. You'll start to get smiles from them and compliments. If you still feel the need to protect yourself, I'm sure your mother must have medical records, too. If there are signs of abuse, a medical professional would have picked that up right away and noted it in their records. Possibly unbeknownst to you, there are notations of your mother's cleanliness, appearance and statements. They are trained. I ALWAYS get compliments about how I'm caring for her. Dementia and Alzheimers is an EPIDEMIC! Practically no family goes untouched by these diseases. Your neighbors probably have their own stories they're keeping in the closet. Know that God and the folks on this post knows your truth.

the police tell me to get an eviction notice

Get an eviction notice.