How do I protect myself legally from a parent who is threatening legal action? - AgingCare.com

How do I protect myself legally from a parent who is threatening legal action?

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My parent is in assisted living. He can not perform his basic daily needs without assistance. He is a fall risk, almost entirely bound to a wheelchair and can not speak anymore. Yet he is competent mentally. He insists on coming to live with my family. We are against it for many practical and personal reasons which we've explained many times over. Now he is threatening me with legal action saying he can not be forced into assisted living. He was not forced. He signed documents to be admitted. He was reluctant but he knowingly agreed to enter assisted living. They take great care of him but he feels he doesn't belong there. How am I obligated to bring him in with us? I know in my gut that it is the wrong thing to do.

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He had a stroke, several small ones.
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Imho, he's not all that competent mentally if he can't understand how much care he needs. Are his disabilities the result of a stroke? Could there be some dementia?
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Thank you all for your support. I really appreciate it. My parent is of sound mind but in denial of how much care and supervision he really needs not to mention how taxing it is on my family emotionally. I know in my gut that bringing him back to our home is a bad idea. I think what he fears more than anything is running out of money and ending up in a nursing home. It's not pretty. I hate to see him in this situation but I am at a loss on what else he can do. However I did not put him in this difficult situation. Had he sought medical help sooner and listened to my pleads that he do so I honestly believe he could be in much better physical health and would not be dependent on others for help. I arranged for him to be in an ALF, a good one, where they treat him very well so that he may live in comfort, without worry and so that we may enjoy quality time when we visit him. I did it with his best interests in mind at least for as long as he can afford it. He agreed to enter the ALF, al beit, reluctantly, but did so under his own volition (he signed the contract). Now he wants out, claims he doesn't need all that care for all that money, can return home and get enough care for a fraction of ALF, and is threatening me with legal action claiming I forced him in there. It's ridiculous. Sorry I'm just venting here. It just really hurts when your parent threatens legal action for something that you did with everyone's best nterest in mind especially his.
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He's right - he can't be forced into assisted living. He's not entitled to live with you, though, as others have said. Apart from the labor and worry of having a disabled parent in your home, you have one who's contentious and hostile. Certainly you don't want him under your roof. What would he do - call the police if you ran out of ice cream?

Another thing you (and everyone) should consider. Once you have an impaired person in your care, and especially in your home, it's extremely difficult to find an exit plan. In some states, you can be liable for neglect if you want to stop taking care of him. It's difficult to evict someone who's relying on you for help and care. We've seen several variations on that theme on this very board. Don't even think about it. Tell him he's free to move out of the AL, but he will have to take care of himself or arrange his own care from that point on. I agree with Countrymouse ... call his bluff!
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Don't even think about bringing him into your home. You've gotten through one of life's toughest battles, getting him in care in the first place. The staff there go through this all the time and can handle it. No one can sue you or forced to take home a person with all his needs.
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Zebra, I know of no law where a grown child has to take in their parent.

Good heavens, doesn't your Dad realize he is in assisted living because that is the best place for him because of his physical disabilities? Could he be in denial of his condition? Maybe he doesn't really realize that he needs 168 hours of care per week, and if he did move in with you, he would need 3 caregivers per day, and 3 more on the weekends... that is more expensive than him living at his assisted living.
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You are not under any obligation to bring your father to live with you. There is no law on earth that obliges you to accept a parent in your own home. If your father is competent and wishes to leave the ALF, he is of course entirely free to make alternative arrangements. Equally, you are entirely free to point out that whatever those arrangements might be, they will not include the option of moving into your home. Stand firm and call his bluff.
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