Adult protective services. How do I protect myself?

First if she has dementia and is too combative to be in a nursing home, how is it she has access to a phone where she could actually call just about any number and talk to someone on the other end of the phone about anything that would be nonsensical? My husband had an uncle who had dementia who would do that. How is it she has social services number? Second, social services varies a great deal from county to county, state to state. Some social service programs are nearly non existent, other's can be abusive, and others can be very helpful, basically her caregiver is the one who should have the phone and the numbers. You might try researching your local social services to get an idea of how helpful they could be, or not be. They might only ask basic questions, and come in once a week to check on both of you. Also depending on how reasonable your mom is, you might try a reward program a few times a day to get her to cooperate, some type of healthy food treat after lunch and dinner and before bed to get her to cooperate with daily routines, play children's basic board games, let her win of course, things like that, depending on your mom and what she likes, keep in mind something relaxing at bedtime. And of course the obvious, your mom should never be alone, should not have access to anything that might hurt her or that she could use to hurt others, she should not be able to leave the house unattended, the home should be immaculate, and she should be, there's should always be food in the house, and food that she can eat. She also should have a doctor that she sees on a regular basis to help with her dementia and other health issues. At 87 I'm sure she's on some kind of medication. As long as these matters are taken care of, and your mother is officially diagnosed with dementia, most social services will not give you a hard time even if she's calling them. Also just to note, in most states, it's illegal to call social services with false claims of abuse, they can and will file charges against the person if it's found to be obviously malicious. Good luck.

to support that you are feeding her list the number of glasses of water per day along with other beverages ...a scale would support the fact that your mom is not losing weight (therefore you are feeding her). Keep excellent fiancial record especially is your mom is reporting that you are taking her money.and.or stealing from her. If you are being paid to care for her get a contract drawn up, not sure if it needs to be a legal document or notarized document, stating the hourly rate etc etc. Keep track of her incomes and care supply costs.
I am so sick of calculating how much I spend on bananas so I average 78 cents every 3 days with 7 days in a week (1.56 for 6 days) rounded up to 2.00 per week because I have to buy the banana for the 7th day which usually comes from Starbucks x 52 weeks a year=104 per year. APS is certainly not going to ask about bananas but there are just some things that I just have pre calculated. (In all honesty I probably buy 2 bananas per week from Starbucks at $1 ea so my calculation is right on. I save every receipt.
I think I will be able to write off alot of mom's expenses as by law the expenses but total something like 1/2 of the carers income: I have been unemployed for 2 years so I think I will qualify. Good luck to you

As far as I know APS should be observing the environment for health and safety issues, neglect issues, hygiene issues, hydration and malnutrition issues. Keep good records about activities you provide; when her doctor diagnosed her/at what stage/when she had to stop driving/cooking/ etc. For example, you mom may report that she never goes out of her room. The recliner in the living room, stereo, television, some of her favorite activityes will reflect that she indeed leaves her room for not only meals but also to enjoy the things in the living room. If APS is asking you questions what kinds of questions are they asking.
Look at NH facilities which are overseen (albeit poorly) by the state. They also receive both state and federal funds. As a result said NH are required to provide a certain level of care including a designated amout of activities. You can good NH regulations federal and you will see what a NH is expected to provide. That can help you determine where you could be lacking (likely not).
If they are indeed asking you questions it would be interesting to know what they are and how this squares up with your civil rights as a citizen of this country caring for a parent.
By and large I believe APS is looking for the things that I mentioned at the beginning. They might also want to know who cares for your mom if you need to go out of the home for an appointments, grocery shopping (safety)--in other words is your mom being left alone for periods of time (which could very well be unsafe). Are there physician reports about any bed sores (not re positioning a LO often enough) is the perineal area kept clean and dry (it should be); is she forced to take a bath/shower (these tasks can traumatize someone with dementia). Do you have a fire exit emergency plan/smoke detectors, gas shut off valve and wrench. How do contain/prevent infection? Is there an odor in the home; is the home clean and safe? Are throw rugs and other tripping hazards removed? Is your mom supervised long enough to light the stove/microwave and start a fire. Do you have fire extinguishers in the home?
Medications and how you keep them away from her/how is she monitored for medication.
I think if you follow what is here and adhere to what is expected of federally funded and state funded regulations you will be fine; I make that assumption because I don't have a clue what questions they would be asking.
When mom came to live with me any household item from vinegar to XXX was removed and placed in a rubber maid 30 gal trashcan which I placed right out my back door. My mom wasn't told what I was doing and didn't have a clue what the can was for; she never asked and I never reported what it was used for. I removed everything that was unedible in the bathrooms and kitchen/washrooms . Clothes soap in the form of those pods appear to look like candy to children and therefore could do the same thing to someone with dementia. Things like dish soap which comes in very pretty drinkable colors was place out of sight/out of reach for mom. Safety proof your home.
I'm sure you are fine.