What can we do to protect my Mom from herself and protect her caregiver from being blamed if our Mom doesn't get her act together? - AgingCare.com

What can we do to protect my Mom from herself and protect her caregiver from being blamed if our Mom doesn't get her act together?

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My mother is 70 and recently had her leg amputated. She went into a rehab facility to help learn how to do things for herself for when she goes home. All the while at the rehab facility she did everything asked of her and did very well with her rehab.
Now that she is at home with my sister she has become lazy and complacent. As a result she has gotten weaker and stiff. My mother is in her right mind and can still make decisions for herself. She doesn't have any major illnesses. Although, she is overweight, it is difficult to move her from her wheelchair to her bed if she gets too stiff to do it herself. Otherwise,there is no reason why she can't get up and move.
My sister have talked and fussed and our mother about doing her exercises but she keeps making excuses about her carpal tunnel in her hands and her leg being stiff. She wasn't doing any of this at the rehab center. My mother wants everyone to wait on her instead of getting up and helping herself. We asked her would she like the rehab facility better than staying with my sister and she said, NO! She wants to live with her family but she isn't trying to help herself. My sister is her caregiver and I'm afraid if our mother doesn't start moving and helping herself that she will get worse and then make it impossible for my sister to care for her. We all help as much as we can but our mother needs to be able to care for herself as much as possible on her own. My mother said she will do better but it is more talk than action. A nursing home is NOT and option!!! We told her that if she doesn't start exercising that she will get worse and the state may have to step in and they will want to put her in a home. My mother wants to stay with my sister so we want that too.

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First off put her on a diet and make her lose some weight. If she can drop 50 lbs, she will do much better. Your sister may be worried about neglect in a NH, but allowing mom to wallow in self pity, overeat and avoid exercise will kill her just as fast.
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Nursing home NOT an option because my sister see's first hand how the elderly are treated when she does her rounds.
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Why isn't a nursing home an option?
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Why don't you talk to her doctor about some in-home physical therapy? Sometimes our parents do better with a "stranger" than family when it comes to taking care of themselves. We had to do this with my Mom when she came home from rehab after heart surgery. They like to show off and prove they can do things to outsiders....go figure!

Good luck!
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