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Recently, Mom had major surgery after which she went to a rehab facililty. During this time, my sister and I gained power of attorney to sort out her finances. We found out that a younger brother has been writing checks to himself from Mom's account as well as using her account to pay for other items the amount, so far, is around $10,000 (just in the last two years). Mom adamantly denies writing or authorizing these. She did not want to prosecute. We changed her account and then I filed a claim with the Vulnerable Adult Unit of our state attorney general's office. One sibling is very mad at me for potentially causing little bro to "go to jail". Was I wrong? Have any of you successfully prosecuted someone stealing your loved one's funds?

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No you are not wrong I am currently going through the same thing but am not sure how to prosecute him Mom doesn't want to prosecute so how did you do it. I have Durable POA of mom but they said there was nothing I could do.
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Can we close the thread?
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This thread is 5 years old.
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If your mom is still living, you'll probably need an eldercare lawyer to handle this matter.

I happen to be going through an estate case for my deceased bio dad with Alzheimer's right now. This is June 2017. It took me months to find a lawyer until I finally found one through the Ohio state bar association. Fraudulent activity is suspected and has been uncovered on the part of a POA living in the Lorain County area. It's a very long story but you can follow my thread that started out as a question. https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/dad-with-alzheimers-changes-life-insurance-beneficiary-194391.htm?orderBy=recent&page=8 At the request of a poster, I left the thread open to keep everyone updated as my case unfolds. Apparently someone must be going through something similar, my thread is for people going through similar situations as myself who happen to be newbies who are inexperienced and have never dealt with estate issues before. Being listed as the only family of the deceased and finding out someone defrauded your loved one and only finding out after that loved one died can be hard because it makes an already bad situation worse, especially when things unfold a specific way that point to you being entitled to the entire estate that includes money/property. What makes my case so hard is that my dad was the only provider who worked for Ford his whole life but was too greedy to provide for his kids but would rather drink then to invest in what really matters. Of course mom had her share of dad's money drinking it away, and one time she used me and dad as cover while she shoplifted something at the check out while waiting her turn in line. Yes, bad memories and now this but it'll all work out in the end because I have paperwork that states I'm entitled to all of the proceeds. I've read things online that happens to people who financially abused our elders but it doesn't always happen in every case so I'm not sure what's going to happen to the fraudster who stole from my dad with alzheimer's. I don't know how long it was going on, I wasn't allowed to be in the picture. I can tell you though that stealing from our elders can put us on high alert. These days it's hard to trust anyone and stealing from our elders gives people with trust issues even bigger trust issues because no one can afford to be stolen from especially by people they're supposed to trust. There are so many tricks to a fraudster's trade it's just too long to go through here, you'll just have to follow my thread under discussions. If you live in Ohio, my thread is for you if you're a newbie and don't know what to expect. We can go through this together as things unfold and it can be a long process, especially if you're financially strapped and need that money now. Don't fall for the scam of inheritance advances, it's not worth it in the end. Right now I need a car really bad and I need that money from the estate to get a real good reliable car, but beneficiaries can't get that money until the funds and other property are distributed at the right time. What you can do though if you're facing a situation right now and you happen to be in an estate situation and need a car like I do, get a cheaper one and just trade up when all of this is settled.

What's so funny about my situation right now is how everything unfolded over the years. What I find comical is where I am now versus where I was. My dad being the only breadwinner wouldn't provide despite having more than plenty of income and allowed abuse in the home. My only bio sister was killed by the same abuse I barely survived, fast forward to today after many years of scraping despite coming from a rich family. Dad dies and I find out someone took advantage of the Alzheimer's and I uncover eight different cases against the POA over taxes with one case being a foreclosure. She somehow regained the property because I think there must now be a stop on the sale of that property. In the end, there's a strong probability I'll likely be recovering assets and the fraudster has a probability of being punished. If you need a lawyer for your case and it sounds like you do, call your state bar association especially if this is in Ohio. Tell them what the situation is and tell them you need someone who specializes in your matter and they'll give you what names they have. Give the person a call and state your case and as long as you have documentation or proof and can prove your case, the lawyer will take your case and will work for you. If you're on limited income, you should get a lawyer who works on contingency.
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Bookworm, I spent the last hour reading part of that thread, amazing!!! Then I must have hit 'last' instead of 'next' and skipped tons of pages by mistake. What an incredible community this is. Thanks for this advice on the thread..and for sharing this thread with so much incredible education about family drama and elder issues, terrible and great. I'll be back and onward to us all-) t
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Disgusted, nothing wrong with venting. And maybe someone on this site will see and help. Have you checked out Lisa's (Survived2) thread and what she had to go through with her mom? When you have time, why don't you read it? You can read it in increments. The first hundred or so pages are all about helping her and the family. After that, it's more like friends coming to her thread to gossip and update our life to all.

Two Years this July my mother has been living with me:
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/Cant-care-for-mean-and-hateful-mother-anymore-150326.htm

It's a very long thread- but I have found a way to read it and you can stop til the next day and NOT keep hitting the "NEXT" button over and over until you reach page 400-410. When you read and decide to stop reading at 201-210 page. You see the top of the page "http/www..."? ... Copy and paste this to your Word File that you have on your computer's desktop.... Then save this file.... When you come back, just open your Saved File on Desktop, click and copy...then log in here and paste it. Tada! You can start reading exactly on page 201-210.
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OMG, Im sorry for writing so much, folks!!!
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I discovered my older brother (10 yrs older than me, married and living in a sweet 400K custom home with everything high end in it, while I am on disability income), was using my mother's funds he was supposed to just pay small medical bills, groceries, etc, with. Approx 22K worth of funds. I became a second party on her 2 bank accounts when my 66 yr old sister died, and we wanted to cover things in case my bro died unexpectedly, too. My mom is legally blind, hard of hearing, and lives in his town, in a quasi-independent liv facility. I live 1500 miles west. So I finally checked the accounts out online, saw he'd been paying suppliers, himself, and paying large chunks to a credit card my mom had. Turns out, that also has about 15-20K of debt he ran up. He apologized after I confronted him with all this, but won't turn over the credit card statements so we can SEE what he charged. I could see the bank checks and saw some were forged w/ my mom's signature. Nor does my mom want to do a call w/ them (credit card co.) and get me on the card so I can do online access and see the account. She's devastated, but is also starting to not trust me, I can tell. Plus she's up there in age and this whole thing is something she can't process well emotionally. Plus he's local and he's been sweet talking her with more bullshit and I.O.U's. I finally contacted the bank a couple of days ago about the forgeries, and will see what they say/do. I searched the crime statues in his state, and he's got about 6 of them that apply in this, including felonies.

The terribly hard part of this, is his anger at me, (now my only living sibling), his continued lies, my lack of ability to really communicate well over the phone w/ my mom...or to do anything there about changing the POA without her approvals. It feels like a mess with no good solution. And her wavering is so telling! It's been 3 months since I discovered this and 1 month since everyone knew. I have been extremely patient, I feel with my brother on getting the credit card statements and her other papers to me, but he's still lying about when they will come, thus the bank notification. I feel very bad about that, and know it will also upset my mom. This is a really twisted situation...so even when right and wrong are very clear, there are decades of family relationships and ties and sibling dynamics that make reporting this very hard to do. I appreciate you all reading this, I haven't been able to really share it with a group who's also dealing with this. It wrecks everyone's lives, he's wrecked his, my mom's, mine and has removed any trust I could have had for him, forever. I hate that my family fell apart in such a disgusting way. And he has the nerve to tell me to back off taking to mom, that 'I am making her upset.' What about what HE DID!?

arghhh, thanks, folks. :-(
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Katie - Survived2 answer is spot on.
I'm not surprised she declined to prosecute, your brother knew this.

One thing you might want to think about is having your attorney do a "Guardianship in Case of Incapacity" done. I don't know if this works in all states but when we went to do my mom's POA, update will, etc back about a decade ago, her attorney made us do this. OMG what a great idea as it provides for you the ability to step in and use guardianship powers when mom or dad in a fit of pique or dementia turns on you and says "I'm changing POA, I hate you, You can't make me do......whatever". You can then take out this form and it trumps them changing the POA's. Otherwise you may find yourself where mom or dad has gotten POA's changed and you have to go the expensive and traditional guardianship through the courts route. Personally if it were me, I'd use this downtime from brother's latest scam as a reason & leverage for mom to go to an attorney and update everything. Bad brother will be around again as he likely feels he can do anything without fear of any consequences. Good luck.
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UPDATE ON THIS - The Attorney General's office did send someone out from The Vulnerable Adults Unit (a social worker) to talk to my mom. Mom declined to prosecute so they said there was nothing else they could do. Disappointing result.
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I am getting ready to go thru the same situation with my mother and my brother. My brother took advantage of my mother while she was living alone with dementia. He has taken her for aleast seventy one thousand dollars. I am going to try and file charges against him for it. I recently got guardianship of my mother. I know that she had aleast thirty thousand in savings and then he had her to get a equity line of credit on her house for the seventy one thousand dollars and also a charge card from the vank for eight thosuand dollars. Also in the mean time he has taken all of my fathers belongings out of my mothers house while she was there without her realizing what was going on. I fully plan on making him pay for it all. I do not see how any son could do this to their parent. I think that there is nothing worse than a child taking advantage of their ill parent....
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He did not have POA and there was no joint account. He forged the checks.
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Did he forge her checks? Did they have joint account? did he have POA? Not that that would give him the right. Grid he have her sign then fill out? I think these ?s will make a dif
Ference, but I'm no lawyer, just get info from reading this site
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Hi Katie, please remember that you are not putting little brother in jail, the choices are putting him in jail. There shouldn't be a repayment plan put in place by you or your sister, the courts will handle that. YES, you did the right thing and if more family members held each other responsible for choices, people wouldn't think they could get away with it. THANK YOU!
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Hi Katie, I have gone thru what you are going thru my whole adult life. I would get the phone call when her accounts had been emptied. Then hubby and I would swoop in and clean the mess up. This is just my opinion, but I think you did exactly right calling and reporting your brother. If your relationship is a healthy relationship, then bravo for getting poa. Will reporting your brother get her money back? Don't see it happening. Please understand I am in no way calling your mom a liar. But it has been my experience with my own mother that she was dishonest as the day is long about not knowing it was happening. How could they not know it. Same situation. Sister lived off mom for her whole adult life. Your brother lived off your mom. So that also tells me he is the favored child. She is his enabler. It's been my experience that after all is settled moms just let them back in to wreak more havoc. There is no easy answer. Let the detectives investigate. Maybe this will give bro a reality check. But be careful. Once the money supply is cut off, these individuals often will get violent. Recently a nephew who we filed an emergency protective order against robbed a woman at knife point. Everything crimes against seniors warned of us came to pass. I wish you all the luck in the world, but be prepared to be disappointed when she allows him back into her home. Good luck!
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What will be the benefit of filing this claim? It doesn't sound like Mother will get the money back.
On the other hand, if Mother has to apply for Medicaid down the road, I would think that filing the claim is strong evidence that she did not give this money away.
I think Mother's interests come first.
It is less clear to me exactly what that means regarding the claim you filed.
I would be interested to hear other opinions.
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No. He has been "living off her" for years but she was not aware he had been writing checks to hiimself. He is working a temporary job and his house is in foreclosure (now that Mom's funds aren't available). He has a history of bad behavior. So, to answer your question, it would not do any good.
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Did you try to get brother to return the money first? Perhaps in installment payments?
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