Pro’s and Con’s of palliative care for 93 yr old with congestive heart failure and kidney failure?


Lungs are filling up with fluid on a regular basis landing him in ER. Not ready to admit to Hospice just yet.



Hospice uses drugs that make the person not have as much of a gurgle when they breathe, and the anti anxiety meds make the person more relaxed so they are not struggling to breathe. My FIL was on the dry up drugs only for the weekend before he passed so he could visit with all the grandkids and relatives. It was really good for him. Hospice help can last far longer than the 6 mos we are familiar with - mthr was on it for 2years before she improved enough to graduate to regular care! Call hospice, it's for the good of your loved one!
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Reply to surprise

I too would like to know why you aren’t ready.
It’s hard to say goodbye, but death unfortunately is part of life, & at 93 God Bless him that he lived so long.
Try to take time and ask yourself about his quality of life. He may be tired of this cycle of ER visits but afraid to express this to family.
Realistically his health is not going to improve and it sounds like his heart is just giving out.
I am sorry that you and he have reached this stage and know firsthand how difficult it is to let go of someone you love. This recurring cycle of fluid gathering in his lungs & trips to the ER is only preventing the inevitable- his heart muscle isn’t going to improve.
It’s hard but think of  his anxiety & fear he suffers when he can’t breathe. Respectfully, he should be admitted to hospice and provided comfort, in my opinion.
I wish you the best during this difficult time.
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Reply to Shane1124

Jojo, is your loved one's CHF being managed with with diuretics?

My mom had CHF and had several chest taps. We saw a pulmonologist after the third one and he told us bluntly that it was "time to stop poking holes in your mother".

He gave me a very graphic description of what death from CHF looks like ( his father had had it) and told us that it was imperative for us to get hospice involved if it got worse, that morphine was the best way to ensure that she didn't die gasping for breath.

I hope that you have talked with her internist or pulmonologist about the what the long term prognosis is. At some point, dragging an elder to the ER is counterproductive .
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn

Why are you not ready?
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Reply to cmagnum

I think that it would be a good idea to call the Palliative Care Nurse and talk to her about your situation. She would have a better idea of what type of nursing would be appropriate for the 93 year old person.
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Reply to DeeAnna