Proof of elder abuse?

Asked by

What can I do to prove that my brother is taking advantage of my parents financially and emotionally?

Answers 1 to 3 of 3
Top Answer
nothing on your own, really. It would just be you against him and if there is any animosity between the two of you, it just complicates things. If you feel your brother is abusing your parents in any way, you need to call your local Adult Protective Services office and report him.
Do you have access to your parent's financial information? Bank statements and accounts? Banking institutions are obligated to report suspected financial abuse of an elderly person but I don't know on what grounds they would report it or to whom. The police maybe or an elder abuse and neglect agency.
This is tricky and difficult to prove. My mother lives with brother. At times, they do not get along. She will complain to me that he's mean, or has been shouting at her, etc. I talk to him and he may agree that she'd been hanging on his last nerve and yes, he raised his voice to her--but he is immediately sorry for losing his control. (I don't fault him, I have lost it with mother many times. But she doesn't live with me, so I can drive away and scream and cry in the car. She LIVES with brother and that immediately means conflict).

Mother also refers to brother's wife as " the Devil"..and OMG, my SIL is an angel in disguise..Mother has no idea how much my SIL does for her! She is a quiet person and quite shy and has had my mother living under her roof while she raised 5 kids over the last 20 years.

Be 100% positive before you make any claims of abuse. You can't take back those words. Put yourself in the person's shoes--while there is never an excuse for abuse, what the "abusee" and the "abuser" see as "abuse" may be wildly different. Mother thinks b/c brother won't let her leave the house without someone string enough to help her in and out of a car is abuse, we all see it as CARING.

As far as financial abuse--get your ducks in a row and get all the evidence necessary. Don't just take the elder's word for it that so and so is stealing from them. This kind of accusation can never be taken back---so tread lightly.

Share your answer

Please enter your Answer

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support