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Here to share...my last post we were in deep dilemma regarding the rapid decline of my Mom, no diagnosis at this time, and my burnout as well of lack of skilled care I can provide alone. My older sister is here and in the past couple of days we looked at assisted living homes. The nice expensive one looks too big and a younger demographic vs a smaller 19 patient one that’s a older, less expensive and highly staffed and looks like a well managed place with nice, caring people. This is about 2700 a month for a private room bath. The good part is they have a doctor who handles these patients and visits and they do labs there, will help her dress, toilet, almost anything, where I hope this will be better then dragging her to the current doctor who is new, and I am sorry to say unable to assist her imho, and hopefully this can allow her to stabilize. I hope this is going to work out. I don’t want to place her there and feel terrible doing this but it’s probably better for both of us. Keep you posted on our situation as sharing situations on this site offers us all a chance to support caretakers.

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Chill, that is great news that you found a really great assisted living place for your Mom. Hope it all works out, and Mom doesn't fuss about the place :)

Don't feel bad about placing Mom there, just view it like you were sending a child off to college. Dad and I use to joke how his studio apartment was the size of his college dorm. He just loved his place, and he, too, was in his 90's.
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As I found out, caregiving 24/7 is, IMO, practically impossible and still function in YOUR normal life (job, kids, marriage, other commitments). As I saw, it wasn't fair to my mom either. She kept asking where was everyone (when we took her out of the memory care facility to live with us.) Her behavior seemed angrier than in the facility. Even though she snoozes a lot, there are others to be interested in.
Please have no guilt having your mom live there. She will learn to enjoy the routine. And how lucky that you found a facility that you like. That's half the battle.
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