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What about Aide and Attendance benefits for Veterans through the Veterans Administration? My father who passed away in March was in the military. I'm looking into it today for my mom who is in a nursing facility. I believe there may be a criteria but nut sure. It would be worth looking into. .
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Lady, the Admins here have just created sections dealing with specific caregiving questions, including one for veterans:

https://www.agingcare.com/Caregiver-Forum

Look at the section titled Support Groups and check to see if you can find similar questions. The issue of home care has been discussed quite a bit here, as have qualifications to get veteran's assistance.

It might take some time, but you'll probably find other questions and answers that could help you. And reading other posts is an educational experience, so you might get ideas on how to get help that you didn't realize existed.

Good luck!
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