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He does not want help. We want to know the options that we have. We want to gather data on different options and present them to him. He does not want anyone coming to his home, He lives alone and we are at the point that we have to look at all options. He also drives, and really should not be doing as it put others in harms way. He is very self determined, but we know we have to not just sit around and wait for something to happen. He refuses to get therapy to help him walk. Instead of picking up his feet, he slides them. All options and advice are welcome

Thanks

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Well, there are options available but it seems as though that's not the question, which is rather how to get this man to want to get help and to cooperate. That's a question that's asked here by others whose family members have decided they don't want help.

If he should change his mind, there are two options I can think of right now:

1. One of his doctors, preferably one who treated him for the stroke, could recommend either in-home care with PT, or PT at an outpatient facility.

2. Same doctor could arrange for short-term rehab in a rehab facility, but the issue might arise of Medicare coverage because typically this would have occurred directly from the hospital, and I assume he's now home?

3. Local hospitals may have stroke support groups.

You might want to mention the driving issue to his doctors, as someone who can't move his feet well shouldn't be in a vehicle. If he has to stop quickly, that foot just might not make it from the gas pedal to the brake in time. If he causes an accident, it's very likely his insurance carrier will cancel his policy.

Perhaps you can use his self determination as a tool, to help him realize that if he does want to be independent, it's not going to happen naturally and w/o assistance. So in order to pursue and maintain his independence, he has to take steps to ensure that that's possible.
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Make a list of the questions he has. Go with him to the next MD visit and bring that list along. Most patients forget what they wanted to ask.
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Your profile says that his major problem is alzheimers/dementia. While, the stage may not be advanced, I'm still not optimistic that you will be satisfied with his response if you present him the information, await him processing it and making an informed, rational decision. Since his reasoning is now damaged, the logical thinking may not be forthcoming. And even if he agrees to what you suggest, he may likely forget that he did and the next time you see him, you will have to explain what he said and convince him all over again.

So, often it's more about seeing the need, taking care of the situation for their own safety and not relying on them to make those decisions. This issue is debated, but IMO, when it comes to safety issues, you have to be proactive, even if the parent gets upset, refuses to speak to you, threatens you, and if you have to take legal action to get the person off the road. I hope that will not be necessary, but I wouldn't put a lot of stake in him eventually doing the right thing if he is stubborn and has no insight into his condition.

Some people have positive stories about physical therapy, but often with dementia, physical abilities do not improve. And he may have something else going on medically, such as a stroke. Has he discussed his foot dragging with his doctor?

Do you believe his doctor will tell him that he should not be driving right now and that he can be evaluated down the road, after his therapy is complete? That's an option. The car is then removed and he no longer drive. Eventually, he may not recall that he has a car.
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Oh, I wanted to add that with dementia, sometimes physical therapy may not be welcomed by the patient because they have difficulty seeing the big picture. Focusing may be challenging for them and they may not be able to fully appreciate the benefits the work will bring. And the brain may not cooperate with them when they are trying to make certain movements.

So, I would question his refusal to seek therapy. It may be that just doesn't have the ability.
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I want to thank all who took time to give their thoughts to the following question regarding my family member. (A family member had a stroke, forgets and slides his feet to walk What programs are available that we can look into?) Your answers sure does give us things to think about. We will have a family meeting today. Thanks again
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