I gave up a very good job and full benefits because my dad became ill. He was living on his own 3hrs from me . I had to move him in with me as he has dementia. The hospital did not want to release him to be home by himself but his insurance would not cover any kind of at home care as he needs 24hr care . I had to pack up his apartment, continue to pay rent there because he signed a lease. so I have no income and no benefits , his monthly income only covers his own bills . leaving very little for food for himself let alone me.. My husbands job can barely cover our rent and can't pay the bills . I just feel like there is help for a lot of people that are capable of working. I have been to the state for health ins and food stamps and have not heard a thing back it's been a month I have worked hard all of my life. So has my Dad. I can not put him in nursing home . He is not ready for that . he just needs guidance and supervision . he's 84
Anyone know in the state of Maine what can I do. I myself have lost 20lbs and have no insurance to go to the dr . but I choose for my dad and husband to eat before me..

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Laura, I tend to agree with the other two posters that you need to have a long hard look at whether you can do this financially. If you can't be in the workplace for, say, another 10 years, what are your own retirement years going to be like? You and your husband must take care of yourselves, now and in the future. If you have additional resources then you can use them to support someone else. This is not a selfish approach. It is a matter of facing reality.

So, consider carefully whether keeping Dad in your home is feasible.

If you decide that you want to try to make this work, here are my suggestions:

1) Apply for MaineCare (Medicaid) for Dad. This will put him in a good position if he does need to go into a care center some day. But in the short term, he may be eligible for many benefits right in your home. This varies by state, and I don't know how Maine does things, but here in Minnesota if the recipient qualifies for some in-home care, a family member (you) can be paid for that amount of care. Dad might also be able to attend a day-care program (which might enable you to work, at least part time). Here transportation to and from the program location is included. If Dad comes to need incontinence supplies, they will be paid for. Again, I don't know what is available in Maine, but getting Dad on Medicaid seems to be the first order of business -- whether he stays with you or not.

2 Apply for insurance for yourself, through the state. I am glad to see you have done this. I am sorry that it is taking so long for a response. With the new provisions there is a log jam of applications. Hang in there! (My self-employed daughter in Montana just got on state insurance, and had surgery she had been putting off. The wait is annoying but the outcome is worthwhile!)

3) Stop paying Dad's lease.

4) What kinds of bills does Dad have? How was he paying his lease and his bills and buying food, before he moved in with you? It is possible he has some other bills that you could just stop paying? It rubs me the wrong way to even suggest that, but desperate situations call for desperate means.

5) I am glad you applied for food stamps. Have you visited local food shelves to tide you over? This would not be a permanent solution, but it might help you through a period when you making decisions and new arrangements.

If I were you (and I don't even know all your circumstances, so this is very hypothetical -- take it for what it is worth) I would try to go back to work, perhaps by a combination of having Dad attend an adult day program and having some in-home help. And that means getting Dad on MaineCare.

Good luck to you. Please keep us posted on how things work out for you. We care!
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You have good intentions, but you cannot afford to be unemployed. You do not gave the supplemental income nor the savings, so albeit a labor of love, it is not one you can take on. Similar to the moms who rather stay home and raise children, but instead head out to the workforce. Heartbreaking reality. Additionally caregiving of the elderly is significantly more consuming than children.....but that is another subject.

Stop paying dad's rent if he is no longer in the apt.....what is the worst that can happen, they ruin his credit....least of his problems.

Visit the local food pantries and get food for yourself and family.

Look into a Medicaid facility for dad and get back into the workforce ASAP, .else in a few years you and your husband will have a bleaker financial / retirement outlook regardless of what happens to dad.

Take care of yourself, you do not need to do everything yourself, you do need to be well so you can bring him cheer in this very difficult phase

Good luck
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After you have starved yourself completely, who will take care of Dad? Get him to a nursing home ASAP. Ask the landlord to rent his apartment out because the lease ends when a new tenant comes in. Stop paying the rent and get some groceries. If dad served in wartime, call the VA for help. He will be very happy with a group of people his own age.
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