What is the process for getting on Medicaid?

What ba8alou said. I'm glad she brought it up.

I've been tiptoeing around the nursing home question for fear of your reaction. If you read many, many threads here, you see that people start out saying "my mother would never survive in a nursing home," or "I promised I would never put him in a nursing home," or something of the kind. Once you refuse to discuss the question further, you get stuck. Put aside the "I would never put my mother in a nursing home" and think about "what would happen if I put my mother in a nursing home." To her? To you? Surely, she'd be safer and calmer---and you would get a good night's sleep for the first time in years. I just re-read your post from last night --- your mother "made the night nurse leave" and "threatened to call the cops." RW, for heaven's sake: those aren't rational acts; your mother is suffering from dementia! She needs to be in a place where she isn't the night nurse's boss, and where qualified people can prescribe actions or meds to calm her down.

And P.S. --- about making the nurses leave --- Does this fit into your mother's history of getting rid of people who she sees as coming between you and her? That is, the past boyfriends, your present boyfriend, your hairdresser.

Hi.I know you are right....I just want to keep her at home as long as possible. The doctors found the break in her thoracic region...and put her on tramadol as he said it was non-addicting.

But the doctor feels that the ativan may be accelerating the memory loss and when my mom is feeling good, she is shocked by the tapes I play of her.

So we are going to discuss with the psychiatrist about switching her to another tranquilizer......I hope there are others out there that are not benzos.

I was reading reports from the UK and they say benzos are causing longterm brain damage and are harder to kick than heroin but marketing dollars are keeping it quiet. very scary.

going to try to figure things one step at a time.....

trying to get through to medicaid today...thanks so much for your support...

hugs

RW, for the sake of your own health, get her to a Nursing Home. It takes three shifts of nurses and aides to relieve each other for two reasons: 1. Better care for the patient. 2. Survival: both yours and hers. It will give you more time to be together in the long run. Honest.

If she is not peeing or pooping, and her extremities are cold and she is delirious, she needs Hospice now. Hospice is fully covered by Medicare. Call the Palm Beach Hospice in Del Ray, (561) 265-6000

RW, you need to have a heart to heart with the doctor about her condition. Does the doctor think that she has more than six months to live? Does s/he think that her condition would improve with round the clock care? Yes, you need to get her on Medicaid asap; does she have a caseworker through Social Security Disability? Call your local Council on Aging and ask for help.

Oh, RW, poor you! You have a lot to deal with. Take Pam's and ba8alou's advice: ask for help. Now! A local hospice provider, local nursing homes, her doctor, the local Medicaid office, the Council on Aging --- you're probably going to find that they're all very helpful. Just call any one of them, tell them you need to apply for Medicaid for your mother, and ask who to talk to to get the ball rolling, and go on from there. I don't think you really need a lawyer --- this is an administrative process, not a complicated legal matter --- but there are lawyers who specialize in Medicaid matters if you think it's too much for you to deal with yourself. When my daughter-in-law decided to apply for Medicaid for her mother, the staff at the local Medicaid office basically took her by the hand and walked her through the process.

I suspect it will be easier than you think, although other folks on this forum know much more about it than I do. And I'm sure it varies from place to place.

Also --- when you say your mother "stopped going to the bathroom" --- do you mean she is using a bedpan, or that she's incontinent in the bed or in her clothes, or that she has actually stopped urinating and defecating?

And when you say she's cold at night --- are her hands and feet actually cold to the touch, or is she still feeling drafts that aren't there?

Finally, back to Medicaid --- sorry I'm jumping around, I'm actually at work --- don't be afraid of the agency. I think they'll admire you for having kept an elderly, blind and disabled person off of Medicaid at your own expense for so long.

Thank you so much!! Actually all her tests are normal---and she has never had cancer or heart disease or any operations of any kind....so I do not think she would qualify for Hospice as technically she is healthy.

She has declined through rapidly since the summer with the Ativan and Hyrdocodone issues.

The doctors think her back pain..perhaps a broken bone they cannot see-----caused her to get constipated and that slowed her urination.

After all the home treatments and nothing working...the doctors sent a nurse for a high colonic.....and it got things moving. And she peed a little more.

Now they are waiting to see if things can resume naturally....right now it is slow and she is not feeling too well....lack of energy etc

The doctors are sending nurses to examine her...

The coldness is an issue she has had for years but it is getting worse....she is now keeping the room at 90degrees..

again the doctors have run all the tests...normal!!

I am getting on the medicaid plan asap..thank you!!

I totally forgot with everything what to do....as I am trying to keep my business running...

but when I saw how much just a few nights of nurses are costing I realized I would be broke again in no time......and I cannot let that happen again.

Thank you for your support...I will be making calls tomorrow.

after I go to my doc...the stress is getting to me and I have not been taking care of myself...so I want to get some advice...

I realize from all of your support how easy it is to let everything go...money, health , relationships,work....I see now how I was trapped in a situation that was getting odder but I was so close to it I could not see it...I was just in survival mode...

now I realize I need to preserve my health ..money and relationship...this could be years of this left....

although honestly I pray not for both her and me..

thanks!!

mom just made the night nurse leave....ahhh this is the third one she didn't like. and this one I really did like...but she threatened to call the cops....

my mom got into bed with her bad back--which she knows can be a problem..and when the nurse tried to help her apparently she said it hurt more..

and the nurse tried to ask her to please stop calling me.....

ugh.....unreal...I am not answering her calls anymore tonight

RW, If you are paying nurses to stay with your mom at night, where is the logic in allowing mom to fire them? They are working for you, not her. See, the thing is, you can't reason with mom, because she has dementia. This is why she needs to be in a care facility. To save your life, health and sanity.