My mom has been in a rehab for several weeks now and neither my sister and I have made contact with her by phone. I am getting really frustrated with the facility she is in. First when you call it will ring forever then the receptionist will transfer you to the nurses unit and then they will transfer you to mom's phone and it will either ring or disconnect. I have tried asking the facility for help and they have either stated they are too busy. They once said the phone jacks in her room are not working. At another time they told me it was because she was using oxygen. At one time when I called I asked them if they could just be in the room while I said hi and how are you through them and not even talk to mom. Each time I call I get an attitude. At one point I called and got connected to mom but I could tell she didn't know how to operate the phone or couldn't hear and so she said "who is this - why are you calling? I can't hear". When I called back the receptionist laughed and said she doesn't want to talk to you! Today when I called I told a different receptionist that I have not made actual contact with mom since she has been in the rehab and the receptionist said "yes you have" and accused me of lying. She thought when I was connected to mom we spoke but we actually haven't. And anyways dare she? I do not want to go through the stress of calling mom in there again. Has anyone else had an experience like this? I do not live in the same state so it is difficult to go in person! Also she is not deaf!

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When I have been in hospital or rehab I have discouraged phone calls, they are far too tiring. After The "How are you feeling"? has been answered there is little to say. Family realizes that and never stay on the phone.

If I want to speak to someone I can call out.

It would be much nicer to receive letters or cards or emails if the patient can use a computer which of course many elderly can't. Two things i want when in a facility are my computer and wash bag.
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Oh, those lonely hours spent listening to a phone ring and wondering if anyone is ever going to answer it...

While that was going on, I used to ponder whether I wanted the staff to be helping residents wash, dress, eat, walk to the dining room, put in their hearing aids... or whether I wanted a snappier attitude when it came to reception and telephony services.

I always thought it couldn't be beyond the wit of man to manage both, mind.

But given that it seems the norm, I'd rather they were doing the care, on balance.

Still. How much longer do you expect your mother to be in rehab, and what is the plan after that?

I appreciate that US distances are beyond a joke, and that we're not talking about popping over there in your lunch break. But in several weeks, neither you nor your sister have been able to get to see her? Are you in touch with her care team, or any of the rehab facility's managers?
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Your mom may not want to answer the phone at that time. She could be tired or unfamiliar with the phone, as you said she did pick up once and had a problem hearing you.
Unfortunately the rehab staff are busy and can't spend valuable time making sure you and your mom connect.
When my mom was in rehab she didn't like to use the phone much. I know it was because she was unfamiliar with their phone.
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ab123456, I realize not being able to reach your Mom by phone is frustrating, but we must realize that the nurses/aides are quite busy in a rehab facility.... and there is probably a triage system set up, where a patient who is having a serious issues get first priority.... helping with phone calls is down near the bottom of the list.

Is your sister able to visit Mom? If yes, then she can relay your "hello's" to her.

When my Mom was in rehab, I never called her. Rehab is very tiring, so most of the time my Mom was asleep and wouldn't have heard the phone if it rang. Plus when I was visiting I went to call out and noticed the phone didn't have a good volume control, so even if my Mom could answer she wouldn't be able to hear. Or Mom could be have out in the rehab gym, or in the dining room, or the Aides were helping her with a shower.

Will your Mom being going back to her previous residence next week? Rehab is usually 21 days, unless the doctor orders more days.
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Ab, I'm so sorry you are having this difficulty. Is there any family close by? Family friends who are visiting mom?

If there are, I would ask them to help out. If not, I would make contact with the Social Worker, who is probably there only on weekdays.

You want to find out how to attend the care meeting for your mom, which is when all the therapists will discus her progress with you and what to expect upon discharge.

You can also ask the Social worker to facilitate talking with your mom.
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