For the last 18 months I have been embroiled in a legal fight for conservatorship regarding our 86 year old Mom with my brother.
For 10 years I was the sole caretaker; appts, shopping, travel, just companionship. I even sold my house to move into condos so we could live next door to each other.
Due to health issues I had to place her in a memory care facility which costs $6,200 a month but luckily she likes it very much.
Well shortly after I was served, my brother says he wants charge of her (which was denied by Judge already) but he is still fighting to get control of her estate accusing me of elder abuse.
Has anyone gone thru this? It’s hell
In California they are called Residential Care Homes. In New Jersey they are called Comprehensive Personal Care Homes. There are similar options is probably all states but may be called something different.
Low and behold, the facility cost more, and at times mom needed a 24/7 outside caregiver to be a companion and monitor her behavior. A 10k bill for a month wouldn't be unusual. Just flat out vindictiveness of twisteds, who did it hurt the most? Mom. Sad isn't it.
Finally at Xmas this past year ts2 finally said to me that mom would have done better at home. That is as close as I will ever get as far as apology. But, I am a strong believer in karma.
I have never heard of a Social Security facility.
Assisted living here is not private pay either. But as far as small care homes, a lot of people don’t even realize a residential home is a care home. There was one right around the corner from me up until around 2 years ago. It looks like a normal family house, I thought an elderly couple lived there because I saw an ambulance there somewhat frequently and an elderly person on a stretcher. It’s now like a half way house for men. I recently stumbled across a list every private care home in the city on the Internet, it’s several pages long! Growing up there was one a few houses down from my best friends house, it was for mentally challenged people. we didn’t know it until one of the residents chased the caretaker down the street trying to hit her with a frying pan! Will never forget that sight LOL!
Make an appointment with an Elder Law Attorney as such an attorney specialized in all types of elder law situations. He/she can give you suggestions on what to do.
Sounds like your brother is more interested in keeping the money used for Memory Care to stay in the inheritance. Is that what is happening? Does you brother realize when one has Alzheimer's/Dementia, there comes a time when it takes a village to watch after Mom, and Mom is happy where she is? Does he plan to take care of Mom in his own home?