My mother wants to go private pay, she only pays 250 a day through an agency. - AgingCare.com

My mother wants to go private pay, she only pays 250 a day through an agency.

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My Mom is such a pain, she now wants to go private pay. She doesn't have any family there, I am in Seattle. She says she tired of the agency lying to her, but I feel they have to lie because after the caregiver is with her for 4 days most of them don't want to come back. I am so tried of her, I feel like giving up my POA to my sister in law. I work full time and receive a phone call from her every night when I get home, I take care of all of her business from here on my days off. I found out if you go private you must get a Federal Employment ID number, you have to pay unemployment tax, workers compensation, and also should carry Liability insurance. I never show her how I feel I always keep calm, but I am not happy with her decisions, she gave 30,000 dollars to my sisters friend, she paid 1500 to fix a caregivers teeth. Both decisions were hers and they were her choice, but as you can see she isn't thinking 100 percent.

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Busy, I'm sure it is regional, but $250 for 24 hour care is on the low side here.
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Where we are at $250 per day sounds
High.
Perhaps the problem is with the agency.
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In addition to all the employer/employee considerations that you mentioned, if your mother is hard to get along with there may be high turnover. How is your mother going to repeatedly check references and hire new people? There are probably many very fine independent caregivers out there but in your mother's particular situation going through a reputable agency seems more practical.

Does your mother have enough resources to last the rest of her life, even if she needs to go to a care center? Giving away thousands of dollars could be a problem if she ever needs to apply for Medicaid. If she has plenty of assets then that is not an issue.

You can't "give" the POA to anyone, but you can withdraw from that role and let the secondary person take it on, or Mother can appoint someone else. If her poor financial decisions are very stressful to you, perhaps you should seriously consider getting out of the POA role. Mother getting into the position of being an employer may be more than you bargained for.

Stay calm and matter-of-fact. "Mother, if you hire independent caregivers directly, then you have to do all the administrative things as an employer that the agencies do. I love you and I have been happy to take care of your business, but I am not an agency and I am not prepared to do the work of the employer. So I think I need to step down as your POA so you can get someone who will be able to take on that role as well as handle all your other transactions."

I'm so sorry you are in this stressful situation.
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Are you able to discuss this with your sister? Is your Mom in contact with her, other than as a money source? It shouldn't be a problem to change agencies. Not knowing your Mom's condition and how long she has had inhome may make my suggestions silly. Would your relationship with your Mother be better/worse if she is closer?

Do you know what your Mom's issues are with the agency? Are there changes that need to be made on both sides?

It might be time to think about assisted living; making it easier to move her closer; if that is what's needed.

It has to be very difficult to take care of your Mother from long distance. Good luck!
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