I am a private caregiver to a client that is nasty to me and asks me to leave. What do I do?

What does he read? Can you have a discussion with him about those topics, especially if they're intelligent ones? If he's just reading Playboy or some garbage, that's a different story.

But, frankly, I think this man is never going to cooperate. He doesn't want somebody and he'll let you know.

You're in a tough spot; there's no interaction, the wife doesn't want you to read, he doesn't want you to do laundry, so what are you supposed to do?

I'd shift part of this issue to the wife and ask HER what she wants done. Protect yourself.

iI had a situation similar to yours. The husband just didn't want anyone in their home, anyway I did all my chores and afterword would sit in the kitchen to read or crochet. Every so often I would check to see that he was doing ok, I'd take him a snack. Are you just there to make sure he's safe? If so just keep an eye on him and don't take it personnally he'd be grouchy with anyone who came to sit with him. My advice just stay out of his hair, obviously he doesn't want a buddy and remember you are ther to earn a paycheck and make sure your client is safe,

When I worked in Elder Care, my client couldn't bear to see me not keeping busy--BUT there was only so much I needed to do in 4-6 hours. I learned to "act" very busy, I'd actually do this quick, brisk walk from room to room and take my time to do everything. Laundry, which normally would take me 2 hours from start to finish? I'd drag it out all day. Carrying only one small basket and making several trips. I'd make a huge production of changing her sheets and would often get her involved in some project--"A", let's clean that west closet. It's really getting crowded"--or getting her to help me bake cookies, then we'd run them to her friends. She read A LOT and I would usually try to at least skim a book she was reading (on my own time) and have that to discuss with her.

I was VERY aware that I was there 50% for my client and 50% for the daughter and her family with whom she lived.

She had Parkinson's and was very slow to move, so there was that--we did run a lot of unnecessary errands, but this was what gave her a sense of purpose, which is what everyone needs.

Weirdly enough, she also LOVED it when I sang. So, I sang a lot, when we drove places and when I was working and she was resting. It was actually, a very dear relationship--although quite exhausting.

Ask the wife if there are more things you can do to stay busy. 4 hours can feel like 10 when you're just twiddling your thumbs.

What you are describing sounds just like the first few uncomfortable weeks helping my uncle. Asked daily, do you want me to change your sheets? No......
One day, he said yes, okay. After that, there was no end to the work that needed to be done.
Suggest you ask for a budget ahead of time, help him plant some herbs in a pot while he is outdoors.
Organize a tool box.
Organize a fishing tackle box.
Bring some batteries to replace fire alarms, do a safety check.

He sounds to me like a typical dementia patient. Try watching Teepa Snow videos. She has lots of great ideas to help with the issues you are having.

I answered on your other thread but it was taken down for some reason. Anyway....
I'm in agreement with heydeb, I think your main duty is to give the wife some respite and if that involves nothing more than sitting unobtrusively out of his sight then that is what you should do.

Could he help you with crossword puzzles or maybe a real puzzle with pieces? Tell him you're writing a book and you'd like to hear about his experiences as an English teacher. Take notes on what he says. I wonder if he'd like some kind of videos of lectures or PBS shows? I know he doesn't like TV, but that's probably regular network TV. Can you get him talking about his teaching career? If none of that works, I'd go to another part of the house for most of the time, once the laundry is done and just check on him periodically (and unobtrusively).

Your "real" client is his poor wife - as long as you keep her happy, you're doing your job. He's not going to like whatever you do in all likelihood. Just letting her get away is such a blessing to her.

I did come up with an idea - but you would probably need to have your foot in the door with him - reception wise.

I’m dyslexic- so if I was in your situation AND I thought he’d be open to it - I’d ask some “student” like questions regarding things I never understood in school - some basic rules in sentence structure and the like. It might make him feel more comfortable if he thought he was resuming a “teaching” function. It might aid in him feeling useful as well.

Also - depending on what he taught- you could say something like - you have a high school age niece who needs some extra credit at school - what books does he recommend...

Lastly - someone mentioned crossword puzzles. Could you get a book of those - let him see you working on one - after a bit approach him with “I’m stumped. I need a eight letter word for...”. See if you can get him involved by way of him helping you rather than the other way around.

My father had a full time paid caregiver at one point- they would sit and talk - my father mainly doing the talking - of some of his adventures as a mountain climber. Anything he might enjoy telling you about?

P.S. As to any dementia he might have, reading can be a grounding method; it helps orient him to a period in time, or specific issues, and helps exercise the mental functions that still operate well.

My family has always read extensively; we still do. Dad might not remember what he ate for lunch (nor do I most of the time, if I even remember to eat), but ask him about starting the engines on a B-29 and away he goes! And I'll still be gardening in my mind even if ever do become unable to otherwise think.

I agree with midkid58; I am companion and now good friend with a lady in an AL facility, and we do all kinds of things she wants to do. Sometimes it's sitting out in the sun (or shade), organizing her drawers, clothes, or makeup, having coffee and goody in the dining room, walking the halls, changing out her winter to summer clothes and visa versa, writing letters; just small things mostly, but important to her. Must be something he would like to do - ask the wife, who really needs you to stay.