What can I get as a present for my dying Mother?

Follow
Share

If Mother makes it to Monday, she will be 86.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
22

Answers

Show:
I just went through this with my LOVE. It is right on the mark. I would add, that if it is your husband or wife and you can crawl into the hospital bed with them to hold them. It was such a blessing when my sweetheart put his arms around me and squeezed my hand gently of course. His trying to get out of bed was about three days before he passed. The ending happened when he knew I was going to not be alone. I had prayed to God that I did not know how I could watch the breathing stop and God provided. My pastor came over and while we were praying, my Love passed. I was the only one with him through the entire process. And, that was fine with me. We had a love that many never have. True honesty and willingness to go to extreme lengths to make sure they know they are loved, even staying up for two days with little sleep to be there for him. I played beautiful peaceful music and NO other noise...disrupting the death process could be stressful for them. His breathing included sudden not breathing and when I passed my hand across his chest he would breath again. Finally, I realized I had to stop keeping him and stop using my hand on his chest. It was difficult but beautiful. NEVER did he cry out or moan,,,Such a man was he. I will miss him, but I know where he is. He is with Our Lord.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

Just being there will make her happy. But I would get her a bouquet of her favorite flowers, something that smells lovely - smell brings back memories. Also, a CD of her favorite music.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

It doesn't have to be big or complicated.
A balloon, a card, a cupcake. A hug and kiss.

My mom was 78 a few weeks ago and is in hospice.
I took her a McDonald's happy meal, a balloon, and a stuffed fuzzy cat & dog.
She doesn't like the way sweet things taste anymore.
Her appetite is very small to non-existent, so she only had a bite of the burger & two tiny fries. Before, she would have eaten it all up with apple pie and want more.

As far as dying goes, you should talk to her doctor about ordering in Hospice services ASAP. You don't have to pay for that. They will help her and you through this next phase. They are very good at what they do, and it will help you not feel like you have to always have the perfect words. My mom gets an extra bath from hospice, pastoral care visits, and music therapy. The hospice nurse visits her 2-3 times a week.

I told my mom that if she's ready to go, it's OK. Don't worry about us, we'll be just fine. I know she's tired and worn out, and if she feels like "going home", that is what she should do. She told the hospice pastor yesterday that she is ready to go. Now we just wait on her body to get the memo. If she continues not eating, it won't be a long time.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Luckylu, you can call the hospice service and ask for a different nurse and tell them exactly what you said above. Also request that they bring with them the phamplet about the dying process and what to expect. I am going to look online now and see if I can find one for you. Your nurse should be compassionate and caring not cold and harsh. Praying for peace and comfort for your mom and family.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Is she alert and aware? Do you think she'd want to see her family one last time?

Perhaps something very, very simple such as a lovely card with a vase of her favorite flowers, with sentiments of the love you share for her, how much she's influenced your life....something that will soothe her during her last days.

Are there any frienda you think she might want to see, or talk to?

I see in your profile reference to what people often discuss with a dying relative, i.e., that's it's all right for them to let go. Perhaps you could add that to a card as it's very, very difficult to say to someone in person.

It might be that that confirmation that it's okay to let go and pass on could be the best gift you could give her, as it would help her believe that you still love her, will miss her, but know that it's time to end the suffering. You'd be giving her your blessing to move toward a peaceful solution.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Mother is awake,but not too alert.She tries to read her paper,but falls asleep.She sleeps alot on and off through the days.She cant taste anything and she cant smell anything.she has a hole in her septum.She is very sweet and kind and appreciative.Mother was placed on Hospice July,2012.The nurse is cold and is a know it all,She has told me zero about dying and what to expect.She said she doesnt caare for her own mother.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

I agree, lie next to her and hold her hand. You ARE the greatest gift.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Do all the above--and then live a life she'd be proud of. I remember asking my sweet grandma what I could so to ever repay her for her unconditional love and she replied "Oh, sweetheart, just be happy and try to love everyone." I carry her name and feel everyday that I am not as good as should be. BUT, what an example. Love, really, is what it's all about.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

My mom ate a piece of pizza with us just 1 or nights before she passed on, and one of the few things she actually enjoyed was a little stroll (her in her wheelchair) through their little garden. She did not like touring the building and looking at the art work, but the flowers outdoors did something for her even though when I'd tried to take some to her in rehab she did not want or like that at all.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Luckylu, I found a lovely card, and inserted a lengthy letter telling her all the reasons I Loved and admired her , and included many little stories and happy memories of my childhood and my life with her and my Dad and our family life. I read it to her, or actually attempted to read it to her, crying as I read it, but she got very emotional, and preferred to read it on her own after I left the room. Later she told me how much she appreciated it and asked that I place it in her coffin with her, which caused me to cry, it was a cry fest, lol. But in her coffin it went, along with the many many cards and letters she received from so many people, and relatives all over the world. She said she couldn't believe how many people loved her, but it wasn't hard for me to believe it, she was a fantastic person to everyone who knew her. She was the type of person that people felt very comfortable with, and she was always very fair, when advising someone who came to her looking for advice. She Always took my husband's side when we had a falling out, or at least, she always made me see his perspective, I'll always love her for that. He Loved her, both my parents very much. He never had the close knit family that I have, and I'm sure it is one of the reasons he married me. Anyways, you can't go wrong with a letter of Love and Admiration for sure! You hang in there Sweetie, I know how hard this is for you right now! I'm thinking of you! Love Stacey B
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.