My sister lives a couple thousand miles away, but we've always maintained contact, usually by me visiting once a year, phone calls in between -- a few years ago I moved her across the country, at her request, and then, nothing -- she seemed to disappear. I thought she might be dead -- a complicating factor: her children would not respond to any of my attempts at getting info about her whereabouts -- I finally located her in a care facility this week, and spoke with her on the phone yesterday -- she said "they tell me I have dementia" -- I assume its some early stage, cause other than a few long term memory slips, she was her old self on the phone -- I told her I wanted to come visit, she was ok with that -- I'll have to somehow get through to her kids, who live near to her -- I've also contacted the facility to see if they can tell me anything about her current state -- but I'm also wondering, before I fly there, what to expect -- I suppose this will need to be just a brief visit? -- I hope this will not make her feel sad, she's very aware that she has lost her independence, and resents that, refers to the facility as a prison? -- Could my visit actually be harmful to her? -- am I sticking my nose in where it doesn't belong, and should just leave it to her kids (who she says have control of her affairs)?