My Mom, age 73 is currently living at home with her significant other, age 74 of 20+yrs (I will refer to him as "boyfriend") who has defaultly become Her caretaker 24/7 over the past year due to Her battle with aggressive Alzheimer's disease, and with Her declining abilities to care for Herself in every way, he has now become overwhelmed, and his own health issues are being ignored by him due to this. I am there at least 2 days per week on my days off from work, and can see that his care is not the appropriate care She needs, in ways such as, dietary intake, bathing, smoking habits, changing of medication doses without researching because *HE* feels it helps (scares me to death, and I've lectured him on this), and the lack of interactivity to keeping Her mind exercised. Her incontinence, wandering inside and outside the house day and night, lack of consistent bedtime (2am - 4am) constant questioning of the same question over and over after him answering, and lack of ability to take simple daily care of Herself, is more than he can single handedly handle, and HIS health issue needs are being ignored. He has refused time and time again, my suggestion for respite care, and other care needs for Mom by services available are declined by him due to the fact that he does not want to pay for someone and says: "I got it." Well, he doesn't "Got it", and my Brother and myself (I am Mom's POA) believe it's time for Her to be placed in Memory Long Term Care Facility. We are both agonized by the fact that it has come to this decision, and I am very anxious and frightened for my Mom, as She is aware that She is Home, and has Her comforts there. She does not adapt well to change. ie: When I dust and clean their home while there, I have to move photos & other keepsakes, and She gets very upset and cries thinking that I am taking them away, even after I place them back after cleaning, She thinks I have packed them up, and am taking them from Her. My question is, how in the world are we going to make any transition from Home to a Care Facility?? I know it's never easy for anyone who is in this situation, and expect it to be a terrible experience, especially the moment I have to leave the Facility, and Her behind. She is going to freak out, and so will I for sure. How can this transition be more smoothly than I am expecting?