How do I prepare for a respite stay? - AgingCare.com

How do I prepare for a respite stay?

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I'm in the planning stages for a heart valve operation. Doctors visits, tests etc. When it happens I need to place my husband in a dementia care unit foe a week or longer. How do I prepare him for this or do I? I'm so perplexed as to how to tell him. Any ideas would be helpful.

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It's been a while since we dealt with this issue, but I'll tell you what I know. We telephoned and then toured the AL facilities in our area that offered this service. They gave me a stack of paperwork to fill out and would need to be filled out by her doctor as well. The doctor has to actually see her in his office within a certain time frame as well. The paperwork asked questions about her likes and dislikes as well as medical information. The cost at that time was about 100.00/day if I recall correctly. We were to be private pay. Mom got sick and our plans were changed so we didn't actually use the service. Pamstegma is correct, though, that it will take time. Doctor's offices don't always place the same importance on paperwork as we do. Also, you might need to make an appointment for a checkup first. Good luck with your surgery, and sorry that I can't address the issue of how to tell your husband. I would think it would depend on his level of general comprehension and anxiety. I know I can't tell mom anything ahead of time, she just frets.
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Pick a facility ASAP because there will be a mountain of paperwork to be done before he goes. You should also think about who will be his health care proxy and POA while you are recovering. AND proxy and POA for yourself! Talk to your children or nearby relatives.
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What is his level of dementia? Would he remember a discussion from one day to the next? If not, I don't see any point in having difficult and repeated discussions about it prior to the time to check in.
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If you are having a hard time breaking the news to him. Contact the onsite Phychiatric Liaison Nurse and explain the issue, let them have a sit down with the both of you. They will know how to approach the situation without making you seem like the bad partner trying to put him away in a home.
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You need to get make contact with the Case Manager or social worker of the Hospital . They will be able to give provide you wilth a list of living facilities that accept your insurance and have open beds. I would then look up reviews and pick your top 2 or 3 to visit. Also i would seek legal help because when put a spouse in long term care, there a number of thing Uncle Sam will want to know they can also go back as far a 5 years in your financial records. If you have children or a trusted family member I ask them to assist with some of the leg work. Besides its always best when 2 people are present to go over info just in case you miss something.
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