Today, I thought my mom had died before my eyes. Now the mindset is only of 'one day'. I have cared for my mother since January, she has dementia. Friday she was taken to the emergency room, as we thought she had food poisoning. Today she was much better. Alert and reading the paper to me, a ritual each day. Around 5pm. Mom was sitting in her chair, she called out to me, I was napping on the couch next to her chair. I jumped up and saw she was grayish in color. She said she was going to get sick, I grabbed the bed pan and cold rags placing them on her head and around her neck, she was so weak and speech was slurred. She then fell over to the left in her chair, her hands were drawn.
I can not get that vision out of my head!
As I sat with her in the emergency room, I saw the reality that I am going to have to face and feel it will be not too long.
This has always been in the back of my mind, with the attitude that I will be prepared. Man, have I been kidding myself.
The diagnosis is that she is bleeding internally. A procedure will be performed tomorrow.
So as I sit here on the couch next to her chair, in my home place since 1954, I can not imagine this home without my mom here. She is a very well respected woman of our community and it's citizens. The Mayor rushed to her home when he heard the address of the call, her neighbors ran to her home. She is an icon of sorts and it warms my heart to feel the true love and respect from the community, in which I grew up in. I also feel a comfort of sorts, as I know they will be there for me when the time comes. My mom will be 80 next month. We have a luncheon planned for her at the Community Civic Center.