Today, I thought my mom had died before my eyes. Now the mindset is only of 'one day'. I have cared for my mother since January, she has dementia. Friday she was taken to the emergency room, as we thought she had food poisoning. Today she was much better. Alert and reading the paper to me, a ritual each day. Around 5pm. Mom was sitting in her chair, she called out to me, I was napping on the couch next to her chair. I jumped up and saw she was grayish in color. She said she was going to get sick, I grabbed the bed pan and cold rags placing them on her head and around her neck, she was so weak and speech was slurred. She then fell over to the left in her chair, her hands were drawn.
I can not get that vision out of my head!
As I sat with her in the emergency room, I saw the reality that I am going to have to face and feel it will be not too long.
This has always been in the back of my mind, with the attitude that I will be prepared. Man, have I been kidding myself.
The diagnosis is that she is bleeding internally. A procedure will be performed tomorrow.
So as I sit here on the couch next to her chair, in my home place since 1954, I can not imagine this home without my mom here. She is a very well respected woman of our community and it's citizens. The Mayor rushed to her home when he heard the address of the call, her neighbors ran to her home. She is an icon of sorts and it warms my heart to feel the true love and respect from the community, in which I grew up in. I also feel a comfort of sorts, as I know they will be there for me when the time comes. My mom will be 80 next month. We have a luncheon planned for her at the Community Civic Center.

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How wonderful that you have had such a good time with your mom, and that she will always be remembered by so many as the wonderful person she is.

I remember feeling that I couldn't stand losing my parents to death (such denial), but when they finally did pass, I knew they were ready to leave the trap of their very sick bodies. When the time comes, you'll grieve your mother's passing for a long time, but you'll have support from many, and you'll know that she wouldn't have wanted to continue to live so ill.

Hopefully, this time, they can pull her through. However, be prepared that these illnesses and hospitalization in general is very hard on elderly people. Some come out with mental issues brought on by the hospital stress and it can take time to return to a better state.

We're thinking of you,
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Take these final days, weeks, or months ( it won't be longer than that) to say good-bye to your Mom. Tell her how much you love her. Talk about the old times, and the good times. Let her shake her head and acknowledge what you are saying to her. Always smile, be happy and laugh with her. Also be casual when you are not attending to her,so she can see that caring for her is not killing you.
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