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My Father will be entering a Memory Unit on Oct 15, 2010. The 3 children and wife will be taking him. How do we prepare him at home for going, how should we plan the day, and how do we handle our emotions? Also any tips for visiting or taking him out for a day?

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Put my 90 yr old Dad in an Alzheimer's unit 10-15 & 90 year old Mom in Assisted Living 10-22. Dad fell out of bed 3 days after he was there, rushed to hospital with a broken right arm.
They did find some serious heart problems that his old DR never found. He has not asked to go home and has good and bad days. It's painful to see or think of him, but the family and Mom knows it's the best place for him. Mom cried when she left her home of 58 years but after 10 days she is slowly getting adjusted and adapting with her blindness. She loves her new room and loves that she does not have to cook, clean, and all other chores. Her Caregiving for my Dad was way too much for her. I cope by calling and visiting Mom a lot and she likes that. It's hard to see Dad the way he is but I visit once a week and I think he still recognizes me. I just hold his hand and look in his eyes and speak gently and he gets comforted. I am closer to God now and that is such a good feeling, I know He has His reasons for our joy and sorry and by believing that is how I am to cope. Again, for anyone with Alzheimer's, the association is a valuable and comforting resource.
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Yesterday, I moved my mother's personal items to the memory care unit. The room looked really nice with photographs and other items that she had in her bedroom. This afternoon she transferred to the a memory care unit today. She thought that she was going home. I told her that her doctor ordered more rehab and that she needs to be here for awhile. She seems to accept the answer. This has been somewhat of a difficult day. I have been a bundle of nerves the last couple of days. I told my mother that I would take her out tomorrow to get her hair done and do some shopping. That seemed to make her feel better. After I came home, I received a call from the memory care facility stating that she refused dessert and she told them that she couldn't eat it because she had a food allergy. As long as I can remember, my mother would never refuse dessert. I asked if she was depressed and they stated that she was fine. I was doubting if I did the right thing, but she is where she needs to be.
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kyman did not show you much sympathy or support and you should not be bothered by such an answer. I am facing moving my mother from my home to a skilled nursing facility within the month. Her care has become too much for me to handle and my husband is resentful of being tied down all the time as she requires 24/7 supervision.
My father-in-law had Alzheimer's and so I understand your problem. Just keep in mind that you are doing what you (and your family) feel is in the best interest of all concerned. Wish i had some words of wisdom for you but alas, I do not. Just know that you are not alone and there are many others out here facing the same thing. You are allowed to cry, you are allowed to feel sad and yes, even guilt but do not let it ruin your enjoyment of your other family and the last few years of your loved one's life. Be tough, be strong. God bless you and help you handle this heart-breaking task. Big hug to you.
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I also had to put my mom in an ALF against her will. She wouldn't even discuss the possiblity of moving. It was extremely emotional and very stressful on everyone. There were plenty of days that I wondered it I did the right thing., It took many months before she finally got used to the ALF. Yesterday my daughter and grandson went to visit and she told them that she couldn't visit with them because she was at the movies with her girlfriends.......She is so much happier than she has been in years. It makes all the misery worthwhile.....
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If you are so emotional, how about let him live in your home????
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I am going through this as well in about a month. I am not sure what to say --I am thinking about buying new furniture for the memory apartment and having it already there when she arrives ---am open to know more about this as well.
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We took my dad to a locked unit about 6 months ago and my mom to a unit about 2 months ago.They have been divorced for years. There is no easy way to prepare them. Tell him your all going for a drive. He is likely comfortable with that. Take him to the facility and if you want to make up a story that's ok. Leaving him there will be tough. The first while he is there he will be assessed and likely put on meds. In my dads case this was tough because it changed him. He was sleeping a lot. It took about 2 months to get his meds adjusted and it was a rollercoaster up till then. I have cryed many tears as I see him get worse.There will be good days and bad days. We have taken him out once. We left though a side door but returned through the front door. As we walked back in he said "We are going home" He has accepted the unit as his home.
In my moms case she screamed at my sister asking "what did I ever do to you to deserve this?" and went on and on. It tore my sister apart. She has adjusted to the new settings and is comfortable.
There is a list of caregiver guidelines. If you haven't seen them yet do a google search. Or maybe they are online here. Take a look at them. A lot of wisdom in them.

That's part of our story. Everyone is an individual and acts and reacts differently. Take care.
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It certainly will be a difficult day. Just remember why your Mom needs to enter the facilty. The best advice I got was from the Alzheimers Assn 24/7 helpline-800-272-3900. Suggest you give them a call, they are very helpful an kind. Hope it goes well for you.
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Good question as I am facing this issue this week. I plan on bringing photographs and clothes to the memory care facility. Maybe add a favorite chair and other pieces of furniture to the room. My mother thinks that she is going home from the "rehabilitation facility". This will be a difficult day!
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