Is there a pre-written form to use to ask one's parents about things in their lives?

Follow
Share

I am trying to make a list of questions I need to ask my parents before it's too late, like where are their checkbooks, their savings accounts, stock brokers, safe deposit box, an updated will, do they have a power of attorney, etc.

What are their final wishes, since the only clue I have is that they want to be buried out the mid-west... ok, we really need to narrow that down....

Do they want to be on life-support or any other medical request?

If they become unable to care for themselves at a later date, do they want to move to assistant living or have a *professional* caregiver come to the home? Notice, I am not an option on that question.

Just wondering if there is a website, or even on this website, a form with a list of all the important questions that a grown child needs to have *that talk* with their parent(s). Actually talking to my Dad isn't working as he gets too distracted, but I think he will pay attention to filling out a form and talking it over with Mom.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
11

Answers

Show:
Yes there is "What my family should know" booklet from a funeral home.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

ba8alou, LOL you are so right about us being "old school" before we know it. I love to the old black and white movies, and lot of the younger generation won't watch because there aren't any explosions and the "gee whiz" or "golly day" expressions.

GardenArtist, I appreciate the offer. Couple weeks ago I got email from the attorney and 24 pages to fill out... OMG it's like doing homework ;)

Vegaslady, my significant other has a nice balance of both male and female professionals, he does notice that the female doctors tend to listen better.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Flyer, if you don't have a list or your attorney hasn't sent one for you to prepare prior to your appointment, let me know. I have a several page one from our attorney - I could list the questions if it would be helpful.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Freqflyer, glad you thought the book was helpful. Good luck with the attorney...my husband prefers women professionals!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Freq, your attorney might have a male colleague she could recommend. It's amazing how the world has changed in the past 50 years...our parents were born in an era in which cars, telephones and airplanes were brand new. We'll be "old school" before we know it!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Vagaslady, just an update, last month I got the book you recommended "Because You Can't Take it With You" and have read it.... wow, what an eye opener to things we need to think about. In fact, I recently ordered a second book and gave it to my parents.

Assandache7, my significant other and I have an appointment with an Elder Law Attorney to get our wills and trusts updated, get Power of Attorney for ourselves, and ask what we need to do regarding my parents, such as having POA for them. I hope I can get my parents to meet with this attorney, she expensive, has a outstanding resume. My parents might want someone else as they are from the old school and would prefer a male attorney.... [sigh]
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Vagaslady, thank you for recommending the book "Because You Can't Take It With You", sounds like it has a lot of good ideas and I like the fact it has a list of recourses. I'll start looking for the book now... again, thank you :)

assandache7, I do plan to get an Elder Law Attorney, but getting my parents to go to such an Attorney might be easier said then done. At least with the list, I have something to go by, and not standing there like a deer in headlights once one or both do pass on.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

We have a record book called What My Family Should Know.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Can you approach them, with "I am thinking about talking to my kids about my finances and will, etc." I got to wondering if you and mom have a will?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Just tonight I read a book that may be just what you need. It's called "Because You Can't Take It With You", by Marguerite Smolen. I got it at the library. It's meant for the reader to get their own paperwork together, but you can use it as a guide for talking with the relatives. As you go through the chapters you develop a document at a glance guide that covers what and where the documents are and how to access them or who has a copy. That would be filling out a form for your dad. It has good lists of resources for each chapter and good definitions of terms and why you should have the documents. I found it to be a quick read and took notes for what I'm going to set up. It covers just about everything you should need to go over with your parents including funeral plans. It gave me a few "aha" moments.
(This is the call number on the book...if your library uses the same filing system as mine....HG179, S66 2008.). Good Luck with "The Talk".
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.