Have any of you been desperate enough to pray to the devil for the miracle of getting your demented parents into permanent care?

You are not alone Blast. There's me and about a bazillion others......

And how many tragedies do we need before the governments of the world do something about the situation? Especially when it gets so ridiculous you have 70 year old children looking after 90 year old parents - and people like me who were born with multiple disabilities being forced to care for demented mothers?

Bast, here in the States we have the U.S. Federal government and State governments that has a taxpayer funded program called Medicaid, which helps pay for care of the elderly when they can no longer afford to take care of themselves.

I agree, senior citizens shouldn't be hands-on taking care of older senior citizens. I think many of us here will never reach the age of our parent(s).

Also people with multiple disabilities like me are in no fit state to be caring for parents with dementia. I fear that my life has been shorted because of my twelve stressful years - certainly wrecked what health I have.

Bast, how were you forced to take care of your mother? Slavery was abolished in this country long ago. You could have said no, it takes boundaries. You could have dumped her at the hospital and told them you are not going to do this any longer. They woupd have had to find a place to care for her.

I couldn't have dumped mum at a hospital because I don't have a car and was not strong enough to force her into a taxi. I did call the ambulance to take her to hospital, but mum refused to go and the ambos told me off for wasting their time. I reported mum to the strata manager saying mum nearly burnt the place down, but she refused to do anything.

But when mum was finally admitted to hospital - after threatening the doctor with legal action - then I told the hospital I was UNABLE AND UNWILLING to care for mum any longer and that the stress was making me suicidal and that I had serious medical issues of my own with a history of four major operations. So, I had the hospital staff backed into a corner - they had no choice - and it is all history now. I am now doing my best to get myself picked up and strong and well again

I can identify with this, especially the suicidal bit. I am trying to do it the non-hospital route with DSS, they made me hire 24hr help but I still cannot calm down! Give yourself time, accept the fact that you have been deeply effected by this and slowly let go of the anger.

I am glad that you are rectifying your situation, it seems that you so desperately needed. Totally agree with you that our government does not do enough to help out our senior citizens, which is now us. I see that they are definitely making strides however, and there are a lot of Programs out there to help, but it does take a lot to finally get to that point for many of us. I hope that you are now able to start taking care of yourself, as with many of us, we put off caring for ourselves to care for others. Good luck to you in your future.