This is a long post, so forgive me Aging Care community, hope it makes sense. My mom has had Alzheimer's, for the last 4 years, she is 88 years old. My step dad 81 years old is her caregiver, I feel like he is taking advantage of her. I recently read their bank statement and discovered that my step dad and mom has 53 cents in their savings account and zero dollars in their checking. They receive $1622, pension the first of the month. The bank statement states that he took out $600 the first of the month and $1,000 the 2nd of the month. On 7/15 their Social Security and SSA checks($1475) were deposited into their account. On the 15th he withdrew $450, then on the 16th he withdrew $1,000. Yet he is always complaining that he's broke, there is very little food in the house and he doesn't pay the bills in full, if at all. I visit 4 days a week, when I'm over visiting and she asks him a question, he yells at her so, I yell at him. I think to myself what is he doing to her when I'm not there. Also when I'm visiting, I tell my step-dad that if he has to run to the store or what ever, do it, now while I'm visiting. Yet, he sits in the room listening to whatever my mom and I are talking about ( which is not much, since my mom is losing her memory). As soon as I leave, he leaves to go where ever he is going. I think that he is afraid that my mom might mention something he does not want me to know. Recently, I asked my step-dad and mom for a set of keys to their house, he refused to give me a set of key's, my mom sat there and didn't say a word so, I took the keys without their permission made a copy then replaced the original keys back on her dresser. I went to visit my mom a week ago, and noticed that she didn't look good, my husband carried her to our car and we took her thru emergency. She stayed in the hospital for 5 days, she was given 2 blood transfusions, and now has kidney problems, she has gone from a size 10 to a size 5 in the last year. Now that she's home she will be seeing a physical therapist and a visiting nurse will be stopping by twice a week. I'm also requesting a home attendant. I've often complained to my step dad that my mom need new clothes and under clothes, cause she has to use a safety pin to keep her pants up, due to the weight loss. He says that, since I'm so concern with her appearance, that, I should purchase them. I think that since he controls the money he should buy them. I gave in and purchased my mom a few outfits and under clothes, cause it hurts me to see my mom dress the way she does.
By the way I am my mom's only surviving child, and also the youngest of 5 children. My last surviving brother died about 4 years ago. Ever since my brothers passing, my mom's nephew has made himself indispensable to my mom and step dad, visiting, taking her to the dr., and coming over for dinner. I've always been suspicious of my cousin, he's shiesty with his own agenda. So, I watch him closely. But apparently not close enough. My mom's nephew has been staying with them for the past 2 months under the pretense that the house he lives in which was left to my mom and her nephew after her aunt died is being renovated. Thru an internet search I found out 2 days ago that my mom's name was taken off the deed and a corp was form. I assume that her nephew forged her name to have her name removed from the deed of her deceased aunt's house. Anyway the house was sold April 28,2015, three months after the corp was formed.
So now he has $650,000 sitting in his account, unaware that, I know he sold the house, he is sticking to his house renovation lie, as being the reason he is staying with my mom and step-dad. Unsure why he just didn't buy himself a place to live with the proceeds of the house sale. Also unsure how much my step- dad knew about the situation, but he knows something cause he let it slip that my cousin was buying him (step dad) a car. My mom does not have a clue, tried to talk to her about it, but she thinks I'm being mean to her so called favorite nephew, who just swindled her out of her share of the proceeds from the home. I've cried for two days, but tears is not helping my mom, so last night I emailed the NYS Bar Association, requesting a consultation, I want to request POA over my mothers affairs, because clearly my step-dad and her nephew is taking advantage of her. I know that my step-dad and my cousin will try to prevent me from having POA over my mother. I scheduled a meeting with both my step-dad and cousin about my concerns, but decided to cancel the meeting until I can speak to a lawyer, to see what can be done don't wanna show my hand with the bank statement and monies from the sale of the house, until after my consultation with the lawyer.