Can the POA for moms financial arrangements write a check to herself for monthly care? - AgingCare.com

Can the POA for moms financial arrangements write a check to herself for monthly care?

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My mom has dementia which has progressed to the point that she worries she has no money. Her financial advisor told her she has no worries and has plenty of money. Up until now she has compensated me for my 24/7 live in care. Now she says she cant pay me because she has no money. I feel like a skunk writing my own check, but i quit my job for her and we still have to pay rent at our apartment, where my saintly husband lives with our dogs. Suggestions?

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Thats interesting, and a good idea. Best of luck to you.
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My mom lives in an assisted living facility but the lawyer said that I could "charge" for whatever I did for mom that a companion would do, such as writing out her bills, taking her out to lunch (I would bill for my time), taking her to appointments, going to support mttgs held at the facility where she lives, etc.
I know it sounds sleezy but all of the money that I pay myself will be used entirely for mom when the time comes. None of the things that I charge mom for are considered "daughterly duties" according to my lawyer. The purpose of my putting money into an account is for the day when mom's money DOES run out and she is on Medicaid, she will have this little nest egg that I am building for her.
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ngs, I also have a caregivers agreement for $15 an hour, well did, money ran out. But you said your Mother wasnt living with you so why would you have a caregivers contract? My Mom lives with me, cannot walk, cannot talk, is incontinent and I am housebound unless I hire someone for a break. I still only got 8 hours a day out of 24 hours because its considered "daughterly duties" in the eyes of the law the lawyer said.
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tonio,
I consulted an eldercare attorney, looking to the future. Mom is in an ALF and has enough money for a while. When the time comes, probably in about 2 years, mom will move into a nursing home and go on Medicaid. Medicaid only allows about $87/month in MD for any personal needs. Since my husband and I can't afford all of the extra money for clothes, hair dresser, etc (and my sibs won't help out) I have a CareGivers Agreement, signed by mom and witnessed, which allows me to legally pay myself $21/hr, which is the average pay for a companion in our area. I am not using the money for myself but have set up a savings account in my name (required by Medicaid's rules)which I will use solely for any needs mom may have that are not covered by Medicaid.
So, if you are going to pay yourself a "salary" for taking care of your mom, do it legally so that it can't be challenged by any sibs or the law.
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You can use a hoyer lift to transfer your mom from bed to chair, or from the floor .
Please consider having your mother evaluated by hospice. If she is terminal and continues to have little strokes, it sounds like she might qualify for hopice services. They a wonderful agency that people misinterpret it as an end of life only which does a disservice to the patient who is homebound and is truly end of l life but not immediate.
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tonio999---Have you checked your local area resources? Maybe through Welfare Department, or, check with one of the Home Health agencies.
Ask: Is there a lift device to help me pick up Mom from the floor if she falls or slips?
Ask: Is there an equipment warehouse for sharing medical equipment, free, or very low cost, for those who cannot afford to buy medical equipment?
Questions like that might also get them asking you how they might help.
They might also help you find ways to get help that fit your circumstances.
IF your Elder falls on the floor, and you cannot pick them up,
Then do call 911, and have the medics pick her up from floor--they also check to make sure there's nothing injured.
Making calls like that ALSO serves to build a very clear case for getting her into a nursing home, or care home, with full help from Medicaid, as it shows "for the record" what your needs are, and hers.
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Thanks chimonger and cmag for your advice. i getting the idea now and trying to get organized. She has been going downhill pretty fast lately. Tomorrow will go see about the survivorship, etc at the bank. Hope you honor all our vets this weekend. God bless our military people and God please end this war soon. tonio
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tonio999, you wrote earlier that " I do have poa and my name is on her checking acct." Was your name on her checking account as a joint owner with the right of survivorship before you got the durable POA? If so, then that is a different matter. You may want to check with a lawyer about this, but if you were already joint owner with the right of survivorship of that account, then you have more access to the money than someone with only a POA would have.
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IF Mom has dementia, she is no longer competent to handle her own money or legal affairs. That is a condition diagnosed by a Doctor, and recognized by courts.
By having a POA for her financial affairs, that is supposed to allow you to do all her financial things, including paying for her care, whether it is provided by others, or yourself.
A person assigned to be an Executor of someone's Will, gets paid a stipend for taking care of that.
A person providing care, shelter, food, etc., for their Elder, can get paid, as long as there are funds to do so, reasonably. By "reasonably" that usually means that if anyone else were providing same, the pay rate for them, nor for you to do same, is similar.
But it does not necessarily mean you earn the same as a Nursing Home [their overhead is higher than you sustaining your Elder at your home].
ARE you feeling guilty enough that you allow your Mom to handle money?
How much money does she get to handle?
HINT: in some cases, the Elder lacks sensibility to pay their bills properly, but still knows how to shop a bit. In that case, as long as she has paid her bills first [including paying you for what you provide], THEN she could have an allowance to shop with.
IF she has progressed to teh point that giving her money ends up with her "burying it in the back 40", there is no rational logic to let her use any amount of money to her any longer, since it could be seen as potentially losing it or spending it in ways that prevent her paying for needed care.
Oh--
Did you know that the person who provides 1/2 or more of the care/provisions for their Elder, can deduct them as a Dependent on their IRS taxes? Probably on their State taxes, if your State has those, too.
IF your Mom is 24/7 care, and still in her own home, she is truly blessed.
BUT, if you are providing part of that 24/7 care, and not getting paid? Foolish to continue.
OPTIONS = stop feeling guilty for getting paid for legitimate work anyone else would not do without being paid for same. OR, move her into a long-term care facility.
You stated she is demented.
That means she is no longer capable of thinking logically enough to transact nor be responsible or accountable. That means she depends on others for care, and one of those is you!
JUST make sure you are very clearly keeping records of your hours spent doing her care. List hours spent on your calendar, and in the checkbook, or online banking--some online banking allows labeling debits--do that.
OR use something like Quicken program to keep good records of where the money went--you will need those records to prove where the spent-down money went, in case Mom ever needs Medicaide or other Gov't programs to help in her care.
It sounds like you have been doing a good job; the question is, whether you can afford to keep doing it [financially OR emotionally].
That has to be your choice, and whatever you choose, it is OK.
Not one single drop of guilt, got it?
You are doing good work!
{{{hugs!~}}}
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Hi Brindle: Interesting. I think you and I are of the same opinions and goals. I wouldnt go through this for anyone else, except my husband maybe. Compared to AL However, there is just no comparison and the dementia is worse in unfamiliar settings. Thanks for the info and never give up, never, never, never give up. (Churchill) LOl! Tonio
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