My MIL has a POA that names her husband. It then list my SIL, SIL #2, then my husband. My FIL recently changed his POA (and all other legal paperwork) naming me. My MIL got diagnosed with dementia almost 3 years ago. The FIL, SIL #1 and my husband starred fighting over what to do, how to care for mom. While they fought I started taking care of MIL. Now years after the fighting is worse; SIL #1 blames FIL for the dementia, husband tries to play peacemaker and SIL #2 just calls for updates (she lives across country). At every appointment for MIL, FIL tells them to work me me. This is doctos, nursing, assisted living facility, pharmacy even insurance companies. BUT we just found out FIL has to have major surgery. Estimated 4mth recovery. SIL#1 has threatened FIL (many times) she will take MIL away at first opportunity. MIL does not want this; FIL and MIL have good relationship. SIL swears that is the dementia talking.
My question - I have FIL's POA for everything, MIL's POA has the order listed. While FIL is in hospital does he "lose" MIL's POA and go to SIL #1? Can we get FIL to sign a "Healthcare Representative" form with all doctors and etc. for him and MIL ? Is that legal? ethical?
(I've been online researching and that seems like the only other option) Does anyone know another way to protect.
Fyi... SIL#1 only visits MIL every 4 -6 weeks and wants her in a NH now. According to doctors I am giving her excellent care, but while FIL is in hospital I've moved Mom into AL facility. SIL #1 doesn't think this is good enough. Tried discussion FIL, SIL#1 and husband cannot remain calm. I've made all arrangements.