Is it reasonable to do a POA while Dad is still capable? - AgingCare.com

Is it reasonable to do a POA while Dad is still capable?

Follow
Share

Dad is 91 and is in excellent health and quite capable of managing his affairs on his own. He has decided to sell his house and move into an apartment in an independent living senior community. I'm thrilled that he came to this decision on his own as I was beginning to be concerned with him trying to maintain his house. I live in a different state and am not able to help him as much as I would like. He refuses to come and live with my wife and I. We would both love to have him.
Is it advisable, or reasonable, for my brother or I to have a POA while dad is still capable? I'm afraid it might be insulting to him if I even suggest it.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
7

Answers

Show:
It took advice/pressure from people outside the family, particularly mother's financial advisor, to get her to set up the paper work. My input was to say that if she had a stroke or other sudden health crisis she would need someone to manage her affairs. I also told her that I thought she was doing an excellent job of managing her own affairs and my dearest wish was that she would continue. Mother also moved from her house into an apartment at one point, and then from her apartment into assisted living. However, she resisted having these documents drawn up for quite a while and was well into her 90s before she did it. About a year ago, when she was101 and having short term memory loss and other signs of decline, she sent me all her financial/business mail to manage for her. Now I handle everything.
As others have said, it is necessary to draw up these documents while the person is still competent, though they may resist. Your dad must have an attorney and other professionals who do work for him They would be good people to approach your dad if you think he will resist the idea from you and your bro. Good luck.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Jeff, wow, you are so lucky that your Dad decided on his own to move from his own home into independent living, very smart man.... so many of us here wish our parent(s) would do that, but mine I couldn't budge them out with a shoehorn, and they are in their 90's.

Ask your Dad what would he do if he was rushed to the ER, who would be his voice if he couldn't speak for one reason or another. He would need someone to be his medical POA. I am sure he would understand the reasoning behind that... make an appointment with an Elder Law attorney who can then bring up the subject of financial POA, updating a Will or Trusts, etc.

I've been trying to get my parents to update their POA as they have each other as their POA. Couple weeks ago my Dad was rushed to the ER after a bad fall. I was there with him. When he was feeling better but still in the hospital, I told him I shouldn't be making any medical decisions for him [like saying yes for him to stay overnight in the hospital], that Mom was his medical POA... well, my Mom is 96, has lost most of her hearing/eyesight, even though she is still very sharp she couldn't hear 90% of what a doctor would be telling her. Then and only then did Dad realize he has to update the POA's.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

The only time to do P O A is when they are capable. If you wait too long, then the state gets involved and it's a mess.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Maggie, in a perfect world, your parent will be appreciative of your effort to make sure they're ok in the future. In the real world, parents can and do get insulted, offended, furious, think you're initiating a money/power grab and yell in the lawyer's office.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Yes, absolutely. Dad should prepare all legal paperwork while he is of sound mind and perhaps add one or both of you to his bank account(s) so you can handle things when he is not able or if he relinquishes control to you voluntarily. The DPOA (financial and medical) isn't invoked until dad is declared incompetent or not capable of handling his affairs --and this has to be written documentation from physician, not just your judgement. Dad can however legally draw up a written statement saying he gives you control and invokes the DPOA on his behalf even if not incapable.

With all these changes willingly by dad, it's the perfect time to sit down and approach the subject.

Good for you!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

That's exactly WHEN you should do it. I don't understand the mindset of people who think they might be insulting a parent by trying to make sure they're well taken care of. I just don't.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

A POA can ONLY be established while your father is still capable of making his own decisions. It does not have to become effective immediately (or ever) if Dad retains his ability to make decisions.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions