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To my cabin? were the only ones that 7 siblings and were taking mom out and answer her phone calls. She's 3 stage dementia. Loves us and feels secure always asking where are the rest of the kids. Received an email that we have to inform her 48 hours if we take he off th assisted living property even they support us and say you'd mom's so happy when your with her.maybe one sibling will see her for an hour every two weeks!

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Actually, I doubt that she can insist on that, legally. Read this AC article: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/things-you-can-and-cant-do-with-poa-152673.htm

It probably depends on whether Sis has Financial or Healthcare POA, or both, and what the exact provisions of the document are. But unless she has Guardianship, she does not have control over your mother's person. Also, if Mom is in ALF is doesn't sound like she is necessarily incompetent (even if she has dementia), so her wishes in the matter count.

So, you could probably fight her on this.

But it would be much, much better for Mom and for long-term relationship within the family if you could work this out peacefully. Even if the POAs request is non-enforceable and silly, would it hurt to humor her? My sisters and I try to work out who is visiting when, just so Mom doesn't have all of us there one day and nobody the next. We almost always know 2 days in advance when we will be going.

As for taking Mom out to eat or for a ride, etc., it is a little harder to be certain, because we never know how she will be. She has good days and bad and no matter what I plan I have to be flexible. Can you say "I'll be visiting on Friday and if Mom is up to it, I'll take her to lunch"?

Do you know why your sister wants two-days notice? Maybe you can satisfy her concerns in some other way. She may be on a power trip, but she may also have legitimate reasons, or at least reasons she thinks are legitimate.

If the facility has regular care plan meetings (such as once a quarter) it might be very helpful if the POA and all interested siblings attend the next one, where the various staff members can explain their view of Mom's progress and of her leaving the premises.

Many POAs seem to have an over-inflated view of their own authority. If all else fails you could consult an Elder Law attorney. I hope you can resolve this without resorting to that, but it is available to you as a last resort.
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Notify her, as she is legally responsible if something happens to the patient. Also notify the ALF so they can pack meds, which you have to sign for. Bring a change of clothes and Depends. Make sure you have the cell phone number for the head nurse too, in case you need it. A long ride to the cabin can be very disorienting, especially with a change in elevation. If there is a sudden change in consciousness, you turn back immediately and find the nearest ER.
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The easiest thing is to just let it go, call 48 hrs ahead and enjoy Mom. Does the POA run in to visit after Mom gets back to make sure everything is okay?

I don't understand why POA would be interested; unless she is the big sister in charge of everyone's life and just likes to be in the know. There are people like that.
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Mom is in assisted living. We have worked closely with staff to ensure there are no negative impacts to spending time with mom or taking her out on short outings. We have developed a close relationship with the excellent staff and trust their input. They have enthusiastically supported our outings with mom and have been told that the time spent has helped her transition to the facility. It is frustrating to be restricted by someone that doesn't see mom on a regular basis so has no way to assess the affects of the outings or " prepare" mom for the outings. She hasn't developed a relationship with the people she has put her moms care in and bases her decisions on her own beliefs not input from the people that care for her on a daily basis.
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Yes, please give the POA the notice she requires. When people (well meaning friends and family) want to pitch in and help or take someone out of their facility for lunch or dinner there are often ramifications that are not witnessed by the friends and family. Someone with dementia may become agitated for hours after coming back and someone has to deal with that and pick up the pieces. Oftentimes someone with dementia stays balanced with a very strict routine and when that routine is broken everyone pays for it.

So give the 48 hours notice and have a good time at lunch. I'm sure your mom will enjoy being with you.
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Yes she can.. Taking a dementia patient out of their normal surrounding can be confusing..

The POA may feel that she has to emotionally prepare Mom for this visit..

I would follow POA rules or she may decide you can't visit at all.

Try to look past your sisters rules and just enjoy your time with Mom..hugs..
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