Can my Dad's POA take over without his knowledge if he is competent?

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I live at my parents house and helped my father take care of my mother when she could no longer care for herself. Took her to all doctors appointment, got up with her several times a night, managed her medications, help her with personal care (bathing, dressing, hair, make up). Consulted with her doctor regarding her illness. After she passed, I started to help my Dad little by little as he became less capable of caring for himself. Similar to what I did for my mother. I have four other siblings who have done little to nothing. My oldest brother made himself POA and now he has taken over all of my father's accounts since he is currently in a rehabilitation center. He also plans on selling his home...all of this without my father's knowledge. He plans on putting my Dad in an assisted living facility. My Dad is of sound mind for the most part....has some confusion but other than that he knows everyone, where he lives, who the president is who the past president is...etc. He does have problem on what day of the week it is or the year. This brother had done basically nothing for him or my mother for many years. My brother's main interest in all of this is getting me out of the house. I can move out but I will take my Dad with me if he is capable since I know he really wants to be with family. My father has enough money to have paid caregivers care for him in my absence (work, social activities, errand, etc). I believe my father has the right to know what he is doing....does he? I have been threatened - by all of my siblings if I tell my father what is going on. I do not want to upset him while he is in rehab so I have said nothing. When should he be told what is going on?

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They said they accepted him with flying colors the first week he went to rehab. The rehab facility told me they have no record of an assessment. He currently needs help with everything so how that is possible I do not know. I do know the facility has a separate company to take care of private care and that is a separate bill that is paid. Anything over the the limit of services provided under the plan is charged for each occurrence (it adds up quickly). I was called again today by the rehab at work to come settle my Dad down. He was calling for help to "go home". I spent 4 1/2 hours with him...very exhausting. His POA son visits only during the day when my Dad is at his best for a short visit a few times a week. I have not missed a day since he was admitted to Rehab. It is very exhausting...I skip lunch and dinner and get home usually between 8 and 9 p.m. Much more difficult than when he lived with me. No family members are there in the evening but me and on the weekends they scatter too.
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KTR, Are you sure that the ISL facility has already accepted your father? I think most facilities evaluate applicants to be sure the facility can handle the resident's needs. If they can't, they won't accept them.
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pamstegman -That is what it is call "Independent Senior Living" that is why I am concerned that he will not be able to handle living there, He needs more one on one care. It looks more like a beautiful hotel. Most of the activities they have planned are done by 3 p.m. (then what).
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KTR it sounds like he is in Independent Living, not an ALF. Make sure they have nurses on 24/7. And if you didn't see aides in the hallways, there aren't any. There has to be written MD orders for any assistance and that's an added charge per month. We did not want a place with a kitchen, because mom would burn the place down! Mom is never in her room, she is much too busy with activities and bus trips.
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pamstegman - it sounds like your MIL does not have her own apartment but rather a private room similar to a private room at Nursing Home...am I correct? Where my father will be he will have his own apartment with a small living room, kitchen, bedroom/bathroom. When I visited there were not many people around and the hallways were empty (he will be on the fourth floor). I have heard that workers usually have around seven residents that they are responsible for at a time. I know at the Rehab center he sometimes has to wait over 30 minutes to get help to use the bathroom. Since he is not self-sufficient at all right now and might not ever be...that's my concern and the concern of the nursing staff at rehab.
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I am hoping my father with be able to adapt. The cost of the ALF he is going to will cost a minimum of $4300 a month. Is your MIL able to walk around on her own. My father can't so he will be dependent on someone pushing him around. My concern is the nights...he will be in his own apartment by himself and not able to do anything on his own. Right now he calls out at the Rehab and they can hear him and someone tries to calm him during the night. I am not sure he will be able to handle being by himself without someone right there. He does act like a child at times. Is your MIL pretty self-sufficient and sociable? Did she want to go there or realize she was better off going to an ALF. Like I said before the nursing staff at Rehab do not believe he will do well at an ALF. However, since he does not have a choice I hope it works for him. He is 86 going on 87 and I do not want him to feel like he is being deserted by his family. I have heard that is works well for some and not so much for others.
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MIL uses a walker. She has a private room with a large bathroom and walk in shower. Aides standby because she has balance issues. They help her with her compression stockings. She has a medic alert pendant she call aides with.
She agreed to go there for a one month trial and chose to stay. She could not possibly manage meds on her own, or do any cooking or cleaning. Nor can she pay bills. No short term memory at all. Urine incontinence. She has a controlling nature, but you don't get to 87 by being a pushover.
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I am hoping my father with be able to adapt. The cost of the ALF he is going to will cost a minimum of $4300 a month. Is your MIL able to walk around on her own. My father can't so he will be dependent on someone pushing him around. My concern is the nights...he will be in his own apartment by himself and not able to do anything on his own. Right now he calls out at the Rehab and they can hear him and someone tries to calm him during the night. I am not sure he will be able to handle being by himself without someone right there. He does act like a child at times. Is your MIL pretty self-sufficient and sociable? Did she want to go there or realize she was better off going to an ALF. Like I said before the nursing staff at Rehab do not believe he will do well at an ALF. However, since he does not have a choice I hope it works for him. He is 86 going on 87 and I do not want him to feel like he is being deserted by his family. I have heard that is works well for some and not so much for others.
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KTR the most important benefit of an ALF is the social contact with people his own age. From what you wrote he would be alone during the day and quite bored, and then alone at night which can be scary if you can't get up by yourself. My MIL is very safe at the ALF, three meals a day, meds managed and nurses on site 24/7. It's costing us $2800 a month, but well worth the cost.
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I have caregiver burnout right now just trying to keep my Dad calm at he Rehab center. He gets so agitated about wanting to home they are afraid he will have a heart attack so they call me to sit with him. I cannot keep spending hours there and I will not be able to spend hours at the ALF if he does not adjust ... this is more exhausting. I know what it is like to be a caregiver because I have been doing it for 14 years (with help). He has people around him 24/7 at the rehab facility but will not get that at the ALF. My fear is that he will not do well there but that does remain to be seen. He thinks he is going home one day soon so it will be a real shock for him when he goes to a strange new place. I have been told to expect him to have a lot more confusion. So maybe I should not care like the others do not care and let whatever happens happen.
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