I'm so with you, GardenArtist! If one takes the time to really look at a photo, all kinds of private information can be gleened. My husbands daughter would post pictures of her kids- most likely clueless a bong was clearly visible in the background. I also think some of the comments here are a bit on the naive side. With the "younger generation" and probably some older folks as well Facebook can be an ugly place. I've seen all kinds of feuds and nastiness played out on Facebook for the world to see. With today's social media it seems acceptable to make public everything from the mundanely ridiculous to the most private, intimate moments - and no one blinks an eye about it anymore. Personally, my father would have been horrified if any photos documenting the hell he went through in the lasts months of his life were made public.
BTW, it is easy to report violation of privacy rights on FB. If you believe the photos violate privacy, simply report them. FB generally will remove photos without a lot of trouble.
Are you referring to Facebook? If so, and you can't get your sisters to pull the pics and/or stop them from posting more, you might try contacting the sites administrators. Try throwing around abbreviations like "POA" and "Hippa" and you might get some assistance from them.
Yes, GA, we do need more information. If the pictures are of him smiling and waving, it's one thing. If they are him with his mouth hanging open, it is another. It is all to do with taste and dignity.
Something I admired for David Bowie is that his last work showed the reality of old age. Lazarus shocked people because they had been shielded from what old age looked like and its relationship to death. Bowie took off the mask of make-up they tend to cover stars with and showed what old age looked like. People were shocked. That had a huge impact on me and how I thought about old people being surgically altered and covered up with makeup... or hidden from view.
Things are shocking only if we don't see them often. Old people shouldn't be shocking if the photos are in good taste. I don't photograph my mother often because she wears terrible looking pajamas and looks awful. Those pictures would be in poor taste. But I did put some pictures on FB with her raking the leaves a few years ago and her holding her great-grandson recently. Nothing wrong with it and totally appreciated by my mother's family.
I'm a very private person. When I went on a trip last year, I posted several pictures of me on FB despite my reluctance to put it so publicly. I chose photos that me and my companions looked good in. I asked each of the person if I can post their photo in FB. I only have friends with family yet strangers I don't know have Liked the few I posted. FB recognized my brother's face and I Think linked it with his FB. I posted the photos without linking their names. I still cringe when my nieces would post photos of me in it. One was a candid shot - not at 'my best '. She later told me that I rarely laugh. She had to take that photo of me laughing so heartily and unrestrained.
At my mom's funeral, my family took lots of photos of mom in the coffin. I don't see the reason for that since they should have taken mom's photos when she was alive. Why now that she's dead and in her coffin? We even posed in front of it. Younger brother got pissed off that night when he saw in FB that a niece posted a photo of mom in the coffin. Another niece saw it and posted it on her FB also. He was so angry he told niece to take it down and to tell the other niece to take that down also. He said that mom and dad are very private persons. She would have hated her picture to be in full public view especially in a casket.
BookLuvr, FB is probably using some kind of facial recognition software like law enforcement uses.
It also has some type of e-mail linking software. I was linked to several people once in a FB unsolicited "invitation" to join. One of them was someone who had e-mailed me once. That's all; no correspondence otherwise. Yet he was listed, along with some relatives, in FB's solicitation. There's no way they could have known unless they were cross checking his e-mail with others to me. I found that offensive, really, really offensive.
I think the younger generation has grown up with these social media sites, which seem to create their own laws and bills of rights, and accepts that this is the way life is. Those of us who are older, like me, just find this mass exposure of personal lives troubling, unwelcome and potentially dangerous.
I find the action of those relatives who posted photos of your mother in her coffin not only in poor taste but insulting to the rest of the family. I'm with you and your brother - there's no excuse for such behavior.
One of my aunts was tech savvy, learned to use a computer in her 80's. But she specified in her instructions to her family that she wanted a closed casket. In retrospect, and even though the attendees at her funeral were older and mature people, I think that a good idea.
Max, to be blunt, I find the fact that you stated that your sister is posting pictures of your dad wearing a silly hat while he is sleeping and completely unaware that his picture is being taken is appalling. IMHO this is totally humiliating for your dad regardless of the details of any past relationship, good or bad. This is humiliating for your father, and you need to stop your sister from this (borderline) abuse for her own amusement. This is NOT how we treat seniors on this forum. I think your sisters behavior is disgusting. It seems to be your sister wants attention and is using your poor dads helpless situation for just that. I cant believe the NH lets her do this, you should let the NH staff know so she can be stopped, it is a privacy issue, and your sistee is violating your dads right to privacy. If sis is holding a grudge against him for the past, then there is no reason for her to visit him at all. Ugh.
A big question, Mox, would be why you find the pictures offensive. Do they show anything private or do you think they would be offensive to your father? Are the pictures posted publicly or only to family? I wouldn't think twice about posting a picture of my mother to family on fb if the picture was in good taste. I know that family would be interested in seeing the pictures, even if they were at a sad time.
I'm going to differ with CM and more so with Jessie's statements, adding that I highly respect their opinions so my opinion is merely a different perspective.
I really do see this as a rights issue, the right of someone not to unknowingly or w/o consent have his/her photo posted on a semi-public site. The adjunct issue is that if the site is FB, it is a commercial site, and as I've complained in the past, one that commoditizes personal information.
I wouldn't necessarily take the same position if the photos were e-mailed to family.
A few years ago a relative posted very unflattering photos of her mother in a coma, unresponsive, mouth gaping open, looking as if she was on death's door. She posted it on the hospitals portal forum, then notified family members of the photo.
I was appalled; the woman looked as if she was at death's door. I never showed it to my father as I knew he'd insist on immediately going to see her, even though she was unresponsive.
The rest of the family were also shocked, but the recalcitrant person just continued to post ghastly photos of her mother. (She was emotionally unstable, so that might have factored into this very poor decision.) However, to see those photos was very, very unsettling for other close members of the family.
I do think though that if the OP explained a bit more about her father's condition, where this took place, whether or not she and the sisters have since had a discussion on the issue etc., it would help in providing more targeted answers.
Something I admired for David Bowie is that his last work showed the reality of old age. Lazarus shocked people because they had been shielded from what old age looked like and its relationship to death. Bowie took off the mask of make-up they tend to cover stars with and showed what old age looked like. People were shocked. That had a huge impact on me and how I thought about old people being surgically altered and covered up with makeup... or hidden from view.
Things are shocking only if we don't see them often. Old people shouldn't be shocking if the photos are in good taste. I don't photograph my mother often because she wears terrible looking pajamas and looks awful. Those pictures would be in poor taste. But I did put some pictures on FB with her raking the leaves a few years ago and her holding her great-grandson recently. Nothing wrong with it and totally appreciated by my mother's family.
At my mom's funeral, my family took lots of photos of mom in the coffin. I don't see the reason for that since they should have taken mom's photos when she was alive. Why now that she's dead and in her coffin? We even posed in front of it. Younger brother got pissed off that night when he saw in FB that a niece posted a photo of mom in the coffin. Another niece saw it and posted it on her FB also. He was so angry he told niece to take it down and to tell the other niece to take that down also. He said that mom and dad are very private persons. She would have hated her picture to be in full public view especially in a casket.
It also has some type of e-mail linking software. I was linked to several people once in a FB unsolicited "invitation" to join. One of them was someone who had e-mailed me once. That's all; no correspondence otherwise. Yet he was listed, along with some relatives, in FB's solicitation. There's no way they could have known unless they were cross checking his e-mail with others to me. I found that offensive, really, really offensive.
I think the younger generation has grown up with these social media sites, which seem to create their own laws and bills of rights, and accepts that this is the way life is. Those of us who are older, like me, just find this mass exposure of personal lives troubling, unwelcome and potentially dangerous.
I find the action of those relatives who posted photos of your mother in her coffin not only in poor taste but insulting to the rest of the family. I'm with you and your brother - there's no excuse for such behavior.
One of my aunts was tech savvy, learned to use a computer in her 80's. But she specified in her instructions to her family that she wanted a closed casket. In retrospect, and even though the attendees at her funeral were older and mature people, I think that a good idea.
I really do see this as a rights issue, the right of someone not to unknowingly or w/o consent have his/her photo posted on a semi-public site. The adjunct issue is that if the site is FB, it is a commercial site, and as I've complained in the past, one that commoditizes personal information.
I wouldn't necessarily take the same position if the photos were e-mailed to family.
A few years ago a relative posted very unflattering photos of her mother in a coma, unresponsive, mouth gaping open, looking as if she was on death's door. She posted it on the hospitals portal forum, then notified family members of the photo.
I was appalled; the woman looked as if she was at death's door. I never showed it to my father as I knew he'd insist on immediately going to see her, even though she was unresponsive.
The rest of the family were also shocked, but the recalcitrant person just continued to post ghastly photos of her mother. (She was emotionally unstable, so that might have factored into this very poor decision.) However, to see those photos was very, very unsettling for other close members of the family.
I do think though that if the OP explained a bit more about her father's condition, where this took place, whether or not she and the sisters have since had a discussion on the issue etc., it would help in providing more targeted answers.
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