Mom in nursing home - they have been trying to manage meds now since she went in in April. She is a junkie-has been for years,and we have all tried to change it - but we all know how people get as they get older and none of her doctors were ever on the same page,she is on 14 meds, 8 have GIANT red flags that they should NEVER be given together.
I shall go back a sec - one of the main reason she ended up there is her inability to manage her meds. Although she lived with me,I do have my own family to care for and I HAD to go back to work.I was out of town and for the 3rd time in a month and half the EMT had to be called.
As she went into the nursing home,she started out doing much better,and I honestly think she thought she would get to come home as she did.But I am not able to watch her 24/7.
As she has been in there since April 1-today is Nov14-the visitations have all but stopped by my family and I try to get over to see her, and I DO KNOW that I do not go enough-but she NEVER wants to get out of bed-I- truly think if she could figure out a way to use the bathroom without an adult diaper - she would never leave the bed.So,she is in bed all of the time,she sleeps 75% of the time and when I do go to visit,she doesn't talk,she just sits there.She insists she is not depresse
The meds come in here- as it gets colder- her feet hurt worse - always have (fibromyalgia, neuropathy...)so,I understand wanting the Lyrica (the med for this) increased. However, her drug seeking has begun again,and she has asked for her xanax,pain meds and muscle relaxer increased.
The dr and I have spoken with her re: this and told her our concerns-I even told her that this has been a problem for years(began with Soma,written every 4-6 hours OR as NEEDED-she took the OR as NEEDED literally and here we are, 24 years later)The dr had increased her pain meds last week to every 4 instead of 6 hours - and she assumed that she could get one 2 hours in as well for break through pain-no,Mother-they are not going to give you,basically,3 pills every 4 hours.
I did get to thinking about it though,& well-she is in there.Why should she be in pain?She wasn't in pain when she got there,now there is someone to monitor the meds,so-I asked the dr to put her back where she was when she entered.
Yesterday, I get a call that they found her sleeping not just in someone elses bed,but room.She was upset and assumed they WOULD NOT tell her what happened, and I asked her she said she did not know. So,Mother,how would THEY know? It's not that they won't tell you-they can't tell you-they do not know.
Well, sort of. We all know it was because she was doped up out of her mind.
I spoke with a nurse that I have a good relationship with and he agreed-but I also told him that I felt that fine, if she wants to stay doped up and stoned all of the time-let her.At her age and health,quality over quantity?
I returned a phone call to her a day or two ago and asked how she was doing ..." I have been sick for a few days - feeling weird in my head and stomach (well DUH - My son takes the same pain pills she does - he weighs 200 lbs.takes 1 and he is out! I sprained my arm- I took 1 and was stoned for 8 hours and couldn't walk my head was so loopy! She takes xanax - 5 mg 4 times a day and has a fentanyl patch, in addition to the pain pills - oxycodone 325 - 2 every 4 hours) ..lyrica, zoloft, Lunesta, tarazadone, (these are the ones I remember) as well as meds for COPD...
Anyway - I asked her how she was doing and she also said that well, I can't find my glasses or my phone...
Mom, you are talking on your phone. Are your glasses on your face? Oh..yeah.
Yesterday she asked me if I was going to be there when the dr went over her meds. No, I told you what he is going to do she got upset and started to cry and get mad and yell at me - normally, I would have hung up, but I told her - you woke up in SOMEONE elses room....she feels that we are making the decisions without involving her, where the truth is - she just doesn't remember.
Sadly, I STILL think she should take the meds the same way more or less as again - quality over quantity - She has lived a very hard life, she is only 67, but she is a very old 67. She should not have to be in pain, and I do believe her when she says she is in pain. I do think there are other ways she COULD deal with it, but she has convinced herself that these ways WILL NOT WORK. She has tried PT,injections, therapy..
So to my question - how much control do I have over this? Can I say - This is what she was when she got here - I want her back there.(Stoned out of her gourd and happy'ish?)
(BTW - I DO think that all rooms,hallways,not the bathroom) should have video cameras for the elderly safety! She fell a few months ago and couldn't reach the alarm pull...have no idea how long she was on the floor as they only check in every 4 hours -at med time.