My mother has 1st or 2nd stage alzheimers. She has been very argumentative with my brother and my Aunt. I took her, with GREAT difficulty to the doctor 2 weeks ago. She is on all of her appropriate meds, and my brother and his girlfriend live with her and help her. He mobility and range of motion is a HUGE issue, so we had home health ordered and they came in for the for the first time last Friday. At first she was difficult, but they told her if she didn't cooperate, she had to go to the hospital. After hearing that, she suddenly cooperated and offered to wear depends and use her wheel chair. They're coming in to help her with mobility and help her re -learn to wash herself, etc. I am affraid that she is going to need to move to a facility soon. I applied for Medicaid for her so it can help with the cost. I have POA but not guardianship. To what degree am I responsible for her well being if we gone through the correct channels and she still refuses to move to a facility.

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There is a difference between "Liable" and "Responsible". Liability implies some legal elements and the concern of being sued. Who is going to sue you and for what? "Responsible" is a personal or moral concept that involves providing the appropriate care and attention to the best of your abilities, getting the requisit professional care and guidance where and when needed and following that advice to your best abilities.

I am presuming we are eliminating any question of elder abuse and/or neglect in this conversation but wonder if your question really is how you physically get an unwilling parent out of the home and into a facility? With great difficulty! You cannot simply abandon someone who is in your care because they are miserable, difficult or unpleasant: that WOULD fall under the heading of elder neglect and would be of concern to legal agencies. Then you could be held liable by police and elder protection agencies.

But you enlist the assistance of doctors, facility personnel, family and whoever you need to make it happen. It may be traumatic for everyone, but if a patient is truly beyond management and reasonable physical care being provided at their home living situation, then for their own good they must be placed. speak with the director of a local housing facility where you might consider placing Mom and get their advice. I am sure they have dealt with this time and again.

Good luck.
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Just because you have POA doesn't make you solely responsible for everything that happens to her - just that you are looking out for her as well as you can. If she falls because she refuses to use the wheelchair again, it isn't your fault. POA means you will try your best to help her with her situation - not that you can "make" her do what's right for her. And if she continues to deteriorate, you may be forced to "make" her move to a facility whether she likes it or not because it's what's best for her. Unfortunately, we have to take control of what we can (i.e. dispensing her meds, doctor appointments, etc.), and leave other things alone. And if she's already very argumentative with Alzheimers, it's bound to get worse as it progresses. Keep talking to her doctor and home health nurses and they will usually offer good suggestions for you too. Good luck!
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