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My wife and I moved in with my Dad to take care of him, it was rent free and the bills paid, we ended up moving out because of unfulfilled promises of respite help and without the financial help that was promised. (groceries) My sibling moved in, who also has POA and has somehow managed to draw from a stock my Dad has for all the siblings, and pay themselves $1,500 a month for caring for him and to pay anyone they have come in to sit with him. Is this legal?

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So you were living there rent free without having to pay utilities or bills and left because no one would give you respite help or pay for your groceries and are now annoyed that another sibling is there caring for Dad with a POA and using something of Dad's to pay for respite care for Dad and for food for herself and Dad? Of course what she is doing is legal. It is for Dad's benefit to pay for help to care for him, to feed him, and to help the sibling to stay there. The stock is your father's until he dies. It does not become part of an estate until he is dead.
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Carlasue, what seems very unfair here, though certainly not illegal, is that the POA would not give you the same deal she is now giving herself. The deal makes perfect sense.

I don't know whether your sister was exploiting you deliberately or whether she wised up fast when you moved out. Whatever the case, don't let this effect your relationship with your father.
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Carlasue Great that siblings agree at this point. Your Dad's care is the focus of concern, it is always better when family sticks together. It does not sound selfish if you want to get paid, care giving for an elder is a very hard job. Most times... "as a lot of people here agree".... unless a person has had to live in this role/situation, they can't understand and have no idea how difficult and time consuming and how emotionally this takes a toll on a person's life. Maybe you can divide up the duties of care between your sibs it's always best if possible for family to be involved.
jeannegibbs is correct .... keep your Dad in a close relationship, even if you want to scream at your sibs, do it away from your fathers knowing this is going on, his stress level is an important factor as it is for all of your family.
My Boss always says... more hands make less work, the job gets done easier as a team!
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carlasue If the stock is for all the siblings how can she draw from it? It is not illegal to be a POA and spend the "Principle's" (your Dad's) funds on his daily needs and his care, room and board etc.... in fact that's what she's supposed to do with his money. If she has a POA for your Dad's finances and holds on to money and neglects his care needs, for inheritance purposes, and does not use it for his needs this is illegal. By the way 1,500 a month for full time 24/7 care is a deal. It's $335.00 aloud for each day for in home care or $10,000 a month for a NH or $5,000 for assisted living. It's sounds like you are blessed that your father has someone to do this all in his benefit and not taking more or worse, not caring for him at all. Being a POA is a selfless duty, the needs of the principal are the entire point! If she is using this to manipulate funds that belong to someone else (not your dad), First, that seems impossible!!?? , Second, if it were in anyone else's name why are they not the people in control of the funds of that stock?
If she is doing the right thing and you want to help preserve money spent for his care at this time offer to help with the needs that are costing money.
It may be possible she has a plan for the future and in the long run this may benefit everyone in the family. I would ask her this without accusing her of any
ill-intentions. Seems you know the stress and cost involved, so if she is doing her best with what she has to work with appreciate this a simple Thank You goes along way.
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This is Carlasue...The kids all agreed the stock be used for Dad, at the risk of sounding selfish, it would have been nice to have the same help while we were there. It is nice that the POA can pay themselves though.
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Carlasue, would you be willing to move back in with your father under the same situation your sibling has now taken on?
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