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And the grandchildren are telling me that I have to discuss her care with them before I do anything is this so and if I do as my aunt want can they do anything to me.

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I little confused with your question?

Your Aunt wants to go in NH? Her grandchildren don't want her to?

Who is her Power of Attorney(POA)/medical & financial?
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Me the niece.
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NO.. They don't have any say about your Aunt.

Your Aunt made you POA for reasons like this. She trusts you to follow her wishes..

Hold your head up high and know you are respecting your Aunt's wishes!!
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My understanding is that if you have POA, that means that you were chosen by her to act on her behalf. have you identfied a facility that you think would suit her? You should discuss the ins and outs of this situation with the social worker at the facility.
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If she wants to go to a nursing home when her money runs out then how will the home be paid for? Many places, if you want a decent one, require a resident self pay for a period of time before Medicaid application and potential coverage. When medicaid is applied for they will request her financial information, statements, etc for the past five years. Any money that has been spent especially to family will be thoroughly be investigated. If she is giving any children money, or you, there needs to be documentation to show the money or property was not a gift. Is she in a facility now?
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If you are the POA you have the responsibility and authority to act in her behalf.

Where is she now? How soon will her money run out? As gladimhere states many places require self-pay for a period of time before accepting Medicaid. This is more often true of assisted living places but could apply to any care facility. It might be prudent to research where she would like to be before her money runs out, and consider moving in earlier for a period of self-pay.

It is also entirely possible that you will find a suitable NH that takes Medicaid from the first day. Many good ones here do. The sooner you research the more options you'll have.

Does your aunt wish for you to explain things to her grandchildren, or does she prefer to keep decisions and discussions about them private? I think you should follow her wishes in this regard. Try to retain good relationships with your nieces and nephews, but know that your first responsibility is to your aunt.
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