My eldest sister has POA and will not allow me or my children access my mother. Who can help me get access to her?

She is exceeding her authority as POA. That has nothing to do with who can visit.

If she also has medical POA and has solid evidence that your visits are not good for your mother's health, she MAY have grounds to require supervised visits.

Could you visit an Elder Law attorney? Sometimes getting a notice on a lawyer's letterhead grabs people's attention.

Ideally you and your sister could work this out. Other than being on a power trip, what are her stated reasons for this ban?

It always gets to me when I read about one family member, usually on a power trip with a POA in hand, preventing other family members from seeing a parent.

I would suggest that you call the police station (not 911) and ask that they do a well-check on your mom since you haven't heard from or seen her and you have no idea if she's OK.

Hopefully this will get your foot in the door. Good luck.

I sorely disagree with the person that said no parent should make one child a full POA .Most children that are made POA such as myself was around and cared for my Mother 99 percent more than my brother or sisters.The other siblings often have no idea how much time and energy it takes to give up most of your life in careing for your parent.I took my mom shopping,Dr visits,hospital visits,did all her banking with her,made brrakfast,lunch and dinners.I even did her lunches for her friends of 80 years as they would have lunch at our house once,a month.My sister was more interested in her own life but when Mom passed at 89 she was all of a sudden there after not visiting mom for so long,but sure as hell wanted to know about what was left to her,absolutely nothing and that is how it should have been.

Life, is there prior " bad blood" between you and your sister? Is it possible she's just overwhelmed with caregiving?

Go over to your sister's house. Let her know you have been calling and no answer do decided to stop by. With parents who has dementia there ia alot that goes on depending on the memory that is running in their mind. It is not always a hateful, evil tactic to keep everyone away. Example: I had to go get my mother who has vascular dementia among other health problems. With me having a family of my own, re adjusting all of our lives, finding the the best 6 doctors to ensure great care and keeping positive thoughts in her mind they are just as good as the ones she had 40 plus year, and ensuring she get too and from dialyais 3 timea a week is work. We don't qualify for someone to come in and help without paying due to income. On top of all of that mom was being hateful and angry because my died 13 years ago, and most of her friends are dead. She was angry and bitter and could only remember all the bad thinga everyone did to her. This included all of her children and me. She would tell me how she hated me and my sibblings for things we said to her as children which was 40-50 years ago and ahe knew she was going to hell becauae she will never forget it. She DID NOT want to see or talk to anyone for months becauae anyone was the enemy. When she finally did she did not communicate well because of her memory. It took the God in me showing unconditional love and reminding her of the good things and the friend she has left doing the same to change those hung up memories enough for her to want to talk. There is more to dementia than memory. It affect your body. My mother progressed ftom stage 2 to stage 4-5 in 6 months. She still has her mean days but not as consistent. My teenage kids would cry about how I would get verbally abused by my mother, provide the best care with nursing background have family would accuse me of keeping her away. When they did stop by, stayed for 4 hours and seen the reality that what was going, how I was up every 15-30 minutes with her they cried and asked me for forgiveness. It has gotten better but took month before she even wanted to deal with her children, brothers and sisters. Just stop by and make sure you read up on dementia. Hope all goes well.

This is why I strongly suggest that a parent never make one child the POA over the rest of the children. It often ends badly. Make a non-family member (trusted professional if possible) the POA. It is worth any cost.

Well - the OP hasn't come back. It also doesn't say how long the mother has been out of contact, or how long she's been living with the sister; or how many times she's encountered the answering machine, and whether she has left messages that haven't been returned or doesn't bother to do so.

On one occasion - count them, one - I told my sister it wasn't convenient for her to visit my mother. I do not exaggerate: she *immediately* reacted by demanding to know "what was going on" and "why are you being so secretive" and so on, at some length. For heaven's sake.

So in this instance I'll be content to hope that the situation is a passing problem of the OP's sister having been too busy to pick up the phone. Unless we hear otherwise, anyway.

You definitely don't want a stranger as POA! I don't care how "trusted" they are. Having a stranger as POA can end in disaster!

How long has it been since you have seen your Mom? Is there some history behind this? Do you have other siblings that are being banned, too? Not enough information to properly advise.

With the limited amount of information given, it sounds to me like there is some "bad blood" going on from the past. I don't agree with sending the police over. That can make a bad situation even worse. I would go straight to the courts and have a judge grant visitation. Once that is taken care of, your sister will be in contempt of court if visits are denied.

Have you had a bad relationship with your sister before? Is there a reason you think that something wrong is going on at her house now? Why not give her a call, leave a message, and then go on over there for a visit? Think positive and make your visit a happy time for both of them. Bring some flowers, a balloon, a movie DVD for them to watch, some snacks or a cake. Offer to help your sister with some chore. Better still, say, "Sis, why don't go get your hair done, or go to the store, or whatever break she might like, while I talk with Mom." If you are there to snoop around and gather info against her, then why should she let you in? If you just there to criticize and complain, then why should she want you to visit? If you are there to help out, then she will be happy to let you visit. If you are willing to give her a break, she will look forward to your visit. So, think positive, spread some sunshine, and knock on the door, with some goodies and some constructive help for both of them when you visit.
As a caregiver, I would really appreciated acts of unexpected kindness.

I'm lucky I guess, my brothers allow me to make the decisions. I have POA because I'm the one who still lives where I grew up and where Mom lives. I would call the police like said or my Office of the Aging. They will send someone out to check on ur Mom too. Like said, u may have to go to family court to get ur rights.