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I am my mothers RP, her medical poa and her regular poa. . She has dementia, doesn't even know who we are some times. Because she got mad in her demntia she said she doesnt want to see me. ( I have always been super close with Mom so this breaks my heart, it is medication related because SNF put her on meds that I had told them not to put her on because it makes her more confused and she was on it 17 days before I found out) The nursing home even moved her room without notifying me and they physically block me and will not allow me to go see her. I have told them I want to move her to a different facility but they are refusing to allow her to be moved. I live in Virginia and I just filed a complaint against the SNF for the medication errors. I have no way of knowing that Mom even knows who they are talking about when they say she does not want me to visit her. We live in a very rural area and noone seems to take on these kind of legal cases, even tho I cannot afford an attorney I would get one if I could find one to represent me. Mom has had issues like this before with medication and when she is "in her right mind" she doesnt believe she does these things. We were talking about this a month or so ago(I always went to see her every day, all this nightmare happened while I was on vacation) and she had told me that we needed to go tell the administrator that if she ever told them she didnt want to see me to ignore her and realize she must be confused...Unfortunately, I didnt do this, I wish now I had....Any suggestions you can give me would be appreciated

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Contact your local and inform them that you would like to move your relative and that you would like to be put on the waiting list with other available LTC homes.
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Your local CCAC (Community Access Center).
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Contact your local and inform them that you would like to move your relative and that you would like to be put on the waiting list with other available LTC homes.
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I can't imagine a nursing home blocking the poa on the say-so of a resident with dementia, especially if it has advanced to the degree that she no longer recognizes you. Is there more to this story, have there been any incidents that would cause them to banish you? Even if that were the case they should still be reporting to you as you are her legal representative.
If you want to move her then I would just go ahead and secure a place for her at your desired location and make the arrangements. Inform the administrator in writing of your intent and include a stern warning from your lawyer confirming that you are acting with legal authority and expect their cooperation.
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I agree with cwillie, if you are PR and finPOA and medPOA, and you have the original notarized documents of these, and on these your mom specified that her MED POA may decide where mom will reside, then the NH has no say in your moving mom. In fact they must facilitate the move by coordinating with the new facility for a successful transfer of her care. So go shopping for a new facility and once you find one with an open bed that you can afford (that could be a whole nuther discussion....) then give notice to current facility. Your original contract with the current NH will tell you how much notice you have to give. I don't think you need a lawyer for any of this--just put your request in writing and mail it certified return receipt, and keep a copy. Also keep track of any phone calls you receive from NH, and write a note back to them "thank you for phoning me today about my mother, I understand that you said _____ and want to be sure you understand that I disagree, and I said _____. I am sending this letter to summarize our conversation and am keeping a copy for my files." It's not the same as having a 3rd party witness, but at least it establishes a timeline of events. But, the most important thing you have, if you have the originals, are the POA documents-- keep them in a very safe place, only carry around a photocopy.
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YOU are in control, not the elder! "When they don't want to, but it is best for them?"
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If what you are saying is true re you holding both PIAs on mom, bring them with you to see your mom. If they refuse to let you, call the police and tell them you want to make sure your mom is okay, that you have both POAs and the nursing home is refusing to let you see her. They'll get you in.

Of course, if there's more to this story, which I expect there is, after you've done this, they may put a restraining order against you.
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Were meds changed while you were on vacation? Did they attempt to contact you and not able to? Is there a successor POA?

Consider very carefully whether to nmove your mom. If there is some sort of miscommunication or misunderstanding work with the SNF to get it cleared up. A move is going to be very difficult for your mom. How long has she been at this facility? A move for anyone with dementia will cause a rapid, substantial decline. Consider this very carefully. If the SNF feels you are not acting in mom's best interest, they are required by law to do what is necessary to protect her, even if you are the POA, and probably especially if you are the POA.
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You may need incapacity statements or even a guardianship to be able to override your mom's expressed wishes, however confused they may be. Also, every facility is required to post grievance procedures and the name of an ombudsman for long-term care, and most have a social worker on staff who could either help you untangle what is going on or at least make it more obvious what they are misperceiving and misunderstanding.
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Thanks for all the great answers. Its a complicated situation, and no the social worker is no help. I am in the medical field myself....which is what annoys them, that I know what to ask for and what the rules are. I know the rules, just not how to enforce them as I have never seen a facility like this. They have 33 tags from last review for these very same things. The medication was started prior to my vacation and I found out about it 5 days in because I saw the MAR, they assured me it was being discontinued but it was not, it was actually doubled....Unfortunately, I was on vacation when they finally discontinued it cold turkey when it was a medication that needed titrated. Its just a mess...and no there is no reason for the facility to ban me from seeing my mother. I have seen her every day since she was admitted in January and have taken her out weekly, and from July 11th to Aug 5th I took her out every single day and she was super happy and doing much better. Its just a sad situation, but I just went ahead and put her on the waiting list elsewhere and will just fight the battle when the time comes. I am going ahead and notifying the facility she is at next week that I will be transferring her when a bed becomes available. Thanks again for all of the replies
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