Can a POA move out of state a long distance knowing he is not ever coming back, and remain POA?

The POA document may state the conditions under which he must relinquish the power, or it may not. The only wat to know is to review the document. There may be a successor POA listed in the document, again you would have to check the POA. He can resign the power to the successor. Grandma, if can prepare a new POA if it is determined that she has the capacity to do so.

Many successfully, are able to perform the duties from long distances. Perhaps a geriatric care manager woyld be able to help. Many times they are social workers that are able to help in difficult family situations like this sounds it may be.

I am a POA for my uncle who is 1,000 miles away. It works despite the distance only because he needs 24/7 care and attendance, and his daughter, son, and daughter in law all assist in keeping me up to date, sending me his bills, allowing me to pay them and the daughter who cares for them, and deal with selling the real estate they left behind in another state when they moved. This week I will be getting guardianship of my aunt, his wife, who is in a nursing home with dementia. The guardianship is being issued from their former state because the law in that state allows it for a certain time after their citizens move out of state. To answer your question, our POA has a clause that if I ever fail to act, resign, or fail to act in my uncle's best interest, the other party has the right to step in. So much depends on what the POA says. The POA may be limited to only when she is incompetent, or it may allow the POA to be effective no matter what. Can you get a copy of the POA? If your son won't give it to you, there must be people he has provided copies to - her health care providers, the bank, the creditors? If he has not been paying her bills, that might be a good place to get a copy if you tell them you want to make sure her bills are being paid they become more amenable to sharing information - and you can flat out ask if the POA allows you to pay her bills if the son isn't. If you have concerns and Grandma is now incompetent, you can get a guardianship that will allow you to make all the decisions. My long roundabout intro was only to show that no one can presume what is or isn't in a POA, nor should they presume what the law is. Many POAs differ in what they do and don't include, and each state has different laws about guardianship. Good luck!

POA is not an agreement to give hands on personal care, it is about giving either financial or medical oversight and being the final decision maker should any issues arise.
If there is a secondary person named your son could resign his position and the secondary could take over, if he is not willing to do that but neglecting his duties then you would likely have to apply for guardianship if the grandmother is no longer competent.

You can be POA while living out of state, but if you feel that he is neglecting aspects of his fiduciary duties, you can see an attorney to have him removed. Also as a family member you do have the right to request an accounting of how he is spending her money. If he is using grandmas money for personal gain he can be prosecuted. I would see an elder law attorney if you have concerns. It is much better to stop financial exploitation before it gets out of control than to try to get money back after it had been spent. It seems suspicious he has suddenly moved out of state

Then why is he still the POA if he sucks at it?

MaterK7552: Your post to GardenArtist was full of acrimony. You should apologize.

Llamalover, there's a backstory to this post. Three prior posts were on a similar topic, and were laced with hostility toward Mater's son. It was clear that she is very, very critical of her son.

As I remember from briefly skimming those posts before deciding not to step into an apparent mother/son minefield, the son is proxy for a grandmother. It was unclear if the GM was the son's, and Mater's mother, or if it was Mater's mother.

It was also unclear how Mater is involved, if she is, in the GM's care. As I read the other posts, I suspected the son was moving to get away from Mater. She seems to be very dissatisfied with him and wants him to march to the beat of her drum. Where the GM is in all this frictional situation is anyone's guess.

Errata: What I think might have happened is that the GM named Mater's son and bypassed Mater, causing resentment, which she's channeling into finding fault with her son's management of his responsibilities.

GardenArtist: Thank you for the back story!

Mater: God grief! Why did your son have side chick?